Conversion therapy is a pseudoscientific and discredited practice that attempts to force LGBTQ+ individuals to change their sexual orientation or gender identity and instead identify as heterosexual or cisgender. Because it is now understood that sexual orientation is not a choice or something that can be changed, so-called conversion therapy—sometimes called reparative therapy, ex-gay therapy, or sexual reorientation therapy—is not only ineffective, it is often actively harmful. Research has co
How Conversion Therapy Erodes Self-Worth
Conversion Therapy frequently attacks the foundation of how we see ourselves. The relationship between conversion therapy and self-worth is often deeply entangled.
Common ways conversion therapy damages self-worth:
- Negative core beliefs: "Conversion Therapy means I'm broken/weak/unlovable"
- Comparison thinking: measuring yourself against others who don't struggle
- Internalized shame: believing conversion therapy is your fault
- Achievement avoidance: not trying to avoid confirming negative beliefs
- People-pleasing: seeking external validation to compensate
Separating Identity from Conversion Therapy
One of the most powerful shifts in recovering self-worth while managing conversion therapy is learning to separate who you are from what you experience:
- Conversion Therapy is something you have, not something you are
- Your worth is not determined by your symptoms or struggles
- Many people with conversion therapy lead deeply meaningful, connected lives
- Struggles often build unique strengths: empathy, resilience, insight
Evidence-Based Approaches
Self-Compassion Practice (Kristin Neff):
- Acknowledge your suffering without judgment
- Remember suffering is a shared human experience
- Offer yourself the same kindness you'd give a friend
Values-Based Identity:
- Identify your core values independent of conversion therapy
- Act in alignment with values even when conversion therapy is present
- Let values-driven actions build evidence of your worth
Recovery Path
- Therapy (especially schema therapy or ACT) targets core beliefs
- Journaling: document evidence against negative self-beliefs
- Celebrate small wins that challenge "I can't" narratives
- Surround yourself with people who see your full worth