Conversion therapy is a pseudoscientific and discredited practice that attempts to force LGBTQ+ individuals to change their sexual orientation or gender identity and instead identify as heterosexual or cisgender. Because it is now understood that sexual orientation is not a choice or something that can be changed, so-called conversion therapy—sometimes called reparative therapy, ex-gay therapy, or sexual reorientation therapy—is not only ineffective, it is often actively harmful. Research has co
When Conversion Therapy Becomes Part of Your Identity
Living with conversion therapy over time can lead to a fusion of identity and diagnosis. You may find yourself thinking "I am conversion therapy" rather than "I have conversion therapy." This identity fusion has significant consequences:
- Reduces motivation (why try if this is just who I am?)
- Increases shame and stigma internalization
- Makes recovery feel like losing part of yourself
- Limits how others see you (and how you see yourself)
Reclaiming a Multidimensional Identity
Your identity is vastly larger than conversion therapy. A powerful exercise: complete this sentence 20 times with anything other than your struggles:
"I am someone who ___________"
Values, roles, relationships, interests, history, capabilities — all form your identity.
Conversion Therapy as One Chapter, Not the Whole Story
Narrative therapy offers a powerful reframe: conversion therapy is one story in a much larger life narrative. You are the author, not the character defined by struggle.
Externalizing the problem: Practice talking about "Conversion Therapy that visits me" rather than "my Conversion Therapy." This linguistic shift creates psychological distance and agency.
Building Identity Beyond Conversion Therapy
- Invest in relationships that see your full self, not just your struggles
- Pursue interests unrelated to mental health — art, sport, learning, creativity
- Find meaning — purpose larger than symptom management provides identity anchor
- Contribute to others — giving to others builds positive identity components
- Celebrate growth — document how you've changed, overcome, adapted
The Strengths That Conversion Therapy Builds
Many people find that navigating conversion therapy develops genuine strengths: deep empathy, resilience, self-awareness, creativity, and a hard-won wisdom about what matters in life.