BDSM is an umbrella term for a wide range of sexual practices that involve physical bondage, the giving or receiving of pain, dominant or submissive roleplay, and/or other related activities. The acronym is a combination of Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism. While interest or participation in BDSM practices has long been socially stigmatized or thought to be a sign of mental illness, recent research suggests that it has no clear connection to psychiatric disorders an
BDSM and Mental Health
To many, the idea of voluntarily being hurt, tied up, or called names during sex is unimaginable; as a result, many have long assumed that those who do desire such practices must have something "wrong" with them. This may be further compounded in cultures in which speaking openly about sex is frowned upon or that mandate a more traditional view of sexuality .
But recent psychological research has tended to conclude that there is nothing inherently mentally unhealthy about mutually consensual BDSM activities . A national survey of Australian adults, for instance, found that those who participated in BDSM were no more likely than others to have experienced sexual abuse or to be unhappy or anxious ; a Dutch study found that BDSM practitioners showed greater subjective well-being than a control group.
No. Early psychologists viewed BDSM-related interests as pathological—leading many in the kink community to feel intense shame about their desires. Today, however, many researchers and clinicians acknowledge that BDSM can be part of healthy sexual expression. However, if the interests and behaviors involve non-consenting parties or cause the individual distress, they may indicate the presence of a mental health disorder.
While the direction of cause-and-effect is not fully understood, some studies suggest that BDSM is associated with improved mental health for partnered people . Research has found, for instance, that those who engage in BDSM in romantic relationships —and particularly those who take the dominant role—have lower neuroticism , decreased rejection sensitivity , and greater sexual satisfaction than controls.
BDSM in Relationships
Many who engage in BDSM within the context of romantic relationships report that it brings them closer to their partner(s). Part of that benefit, many report, are increased feelings of trust that result from setting and respecting boundaries , as well as the emotional safety that comes from being able to explore less-conventional sexual interests without judgment.
Whether in a long-term relationship or a short-term fling, for the vast majority of those who self-identify as BDSM practitioners, consent from all parties is paramount to the practice. So, too, are open dialogue and clear rules about what is acceptable and what is not. As a result, some people find that relationships that incorporate BDSM have better sexual communication than those that didn’t.
Trust is crucial to BDSM connections. To build trust, partners should communicate clearly about desires and limits , and decide on a “safeword” or signal to stop. After encounters, partners should discuss what worked and what didn’t. BDSM aficionados encourage “aftercare”—affectionate, care-taking behavior after sex—which can help both parties decompress and enhance intimacy.
Not at all. Although BDSM typically involves aspects of pain, humiliation , physical restraint, and/or an apparent lack of control, it is not synonymous with abusive relationships or abusive sexual practices. Many people in long-term, loving relationships practice BDSM. In some cases, however, relationships that engage in BDSM can also be abusive.
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