Adverse Childhood Experiences and Co-Regulation: How Relationships Calm the Nervous System

The science of co-regulation and how safe relationships directly reduce Adverse Childhood Experiences at a neurological level.

Co-regulation — the calming of our nervous system through connection with a regulated other — is one of the most powerful and underappreciated adverse childhood experiences interventions.

What Co-Regulation Is and Why It Matters for Adverse Childhood Experiences

Humans are social mammals whose nervous systems are literally designed to be regulated through connection. When someone calm and safe is with us, our nervous systems naturally mirror theirs.

This is why adverse childhood experiences tends to worsen in isolation and improve with genuine connection.

Co-Regulation in Adverse Childhood Experiences Treatment

The therapeutic relationship provides co-regulation — a calm, regulated presence that directly helps the client's nervous system settle during adverse childhood experiences.

Safe relationships in daily life serve the same function. This is part of why social isolation is so damaging for adverse childhood experiences.

Building Co-Regulatory Relationships for Adverse Childhood Experiences

  • Identify people whose presence tends to calm rather than activate your adverse childhood experiences
  • Intentionally spend time with these people during difficult adverse childhood experiences periods
  • Pets provide co-regulation for many people with adverse childhood experiences
  • Therapeutic relationships (therapist, psychiatrist) provide professional co-regulation

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