One of the most counterintuitive truths about adverse childhood experiences: the struggle against it often makes it worse. Acceptance — clearly misunderstood — is one of the most powerful tools available.
What Acceptance of Adverse Childhood Experiences Actually Means
Acceptance does NOT mean:
- Liking or approving of adverse childhood experiences
- Giving up on getting better
- Thinking adverse childhood experiences is okay
Acceptance DOES mean:
- Acknowledging adverse childhood experiences without adding unnecessary struggle against the fact of its existence
- Allowing adverse childhood experiences to be present without fighting it into bigger problems
- Making room for adverse childhood experiences while still living your values
The ACT Approach to Adverse Childhood Experiences
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) uses acceptance as a core tool: instead of fighting adverse childhood experiences, you learn to make room for it while committing to valued action regardless.
The Paradox of Accepting Adverse Childhood Experiences
Many people find that when they stop fighting adverse childhood experiences and simply allow it, it loses intensity. The suffering of adverse childhood experiences is partly the struggle against it.