Why You're Always Late and How to Help

Addressing these executive function needs will help you be on time, more often.

Posted October 18, 2025 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

I was late to my own party, literally. My 30th birthday. My friends and family had already ordered drinks, were several baskets into chips and salsa, and tried to hide their annoyance with the very frazzled birthday girl when she hustled in.

Tardiness is a common issue and one that is often confused with ethics or character. “You’d be on time if you cared,” or, “You’re so unprofessional showing up late,” may be phrases we tardy folks hear, reflecting the assumption that our arrival time reflects our personal values. I’m here to challenge that notion; showing up on time, or even early, does not necessarily reflect that you are a more virtuous person, just as being late does not indicate the opposite. Usually, executive function needs are the causes of your lateness, and that’s great news, as every one of them can be developed or given a supportive strategy.

Let’s explore three common reasons for lateness and the ways we can boost executive function around them:

You don’t plan for the full “get ready” timeline. You have a morning or get-ready routine, but you may not know how long each step takes. You might think, “All I have to do is put on clothes,” which indicates to your brain that you’ll need maybe five minutes, when in reality that process involves finding clothes, making sure they match and are not (too) wrinkly, finding matching socks, shoes, and maybe a belt. If those aren’t items with “parking spots” in your house, you’ll find yourself using your “get dressed time” as a maddening treasure hunt. You may also lack a time estimate or system for other steps, like packing your bag for the day or showering, meaning you’re genuinely surprised when these tasks take a long time.

How to help: Set a reminder to spend ten minutes the night before to help Future You. This might look like picking out (or, gulp, ironing) your clothes, pre-packing your bag (a great hack is to charge your device while it’s in your bag), or putting out the items you’ll need for the morning routine, like your medicine or coffee cup.

Next, challenge yourself to make a timeline for how long your tasks take by writing quick notes as you get ready, over several days. This could look like, “make coffee 6-620; drink coffee and make breakfast 620-640; eat breakfast while reading the news 640-710” etc. You’re taking data about your tasks and how long they take, and you may be surprised by a few things: you may be doing tasks you didn’t realize you were (like playing with the cats or taking several minutes to decide on breakfast), the tasks may be taking a lot longer than you’d have guessed, and, sadly, you may be feeling resistance and self-judgement as you see your timeline on paper. Try to think of this exercise as a way to support yourself by observing, not judging. You’re taking in the view so you know how to plan for an easier morning next week.

After you have your tasks and generalized time estimates, consider backwards planning your morning. Start at when you need to leave the house, and plan each task, with its time estimate, backwards from there. This will give you both a wake up time and a general timeline for when to start each step of your get-ready routine. Pro tip: don’t leave it to “just remembering.” It’s powerful to leave your get-ready plan, with steps and times, in several places, so you have a reference to keep you on track.

You don’t leave buffer time for mistakes or traffic. Mean old Murphy’s Law, that anything that can wrong will, indeed, go wrong, often applies during our tightest time squeezes. You spill on yourself, your garage door won’t open, your pet has an accident, and you’re already edging toward the last minute you can safely leave and be on time. Then, there’s traffic. Having a plan that excludes time for the inevitable speedbumps of life may also lead to tardiness.

How to help : Since you’ve already planned out your get-ready routine and have a sense of when you need to leave to arrive on time, back up your schedule by fifteen minutes. This is usually enough time to allow for the typical speedbumps of life. If that means that some days you are early to work or an event, you can decide how you’d like to spend the early time, possibly as a treat for yourself. Could you set a timer and indulge in a book, show, or bird watching? Could you use the time to breathe, stretch, or move in a way that makes you feel grounded?

If you notice patterns of challenges that seem to come up, spills or car trouble, for example, it may help to also adjust your routine or invest in solutions. I no longer eat breakfast in my work clothes, so that if I spill, it’s on my pajamas or something comfortable I’m wearing before going out. And when our car was really acting up, we decided to address it instead of playing roulette a few times a month.

You don’t have a consistent way to see or feel time as you get ready. Not every brain feels the passage of time, and we’ve all had the experience of time’s speed feeling relative to the activity–it speeds up when we’re engaged in fun and slows down when we’re doing boring or arduous work. Knowing that time isn’t something human brains monitor well, you may be running late because you’re unaware of the passage of time. You intend to jump into a five-minute shower and emerge twenty minutes later. You get really engaged in reading an article over breakfast and look up to see you’ve time warped half an hour.

How to help : Make time concrete and visual. Put a clock in every room, choosing digital or analog depending on what your brain responds to best. If you know there are tasks that seem to engage you deeply and make time particularly fuzzy, like showers or watching the news, set timers to keep yourself on track. Timetimer brand has several cool clocks that help you see the passage of time with colored blocks that move with the seconds. Phone timers or even asking your smart home device to remind you are also great supports.

Your morality is not tied to being on time; you are a wonderful human whether or not you are late. Yet the real world has real consequences for tardiness, and it’s worth the effort to boost your executive functions . With these strategies, you will find yourself more on time and feeling under control.

Facebook image: BearFotos/Shutterstock

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Sarah Kesty is an executive function coach who teaches brain-friendly strategies to thrive in life.

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.