Why It’s a Bad Idea to Bring Your Whole Self to Work
The case for being your "best self" at work, rather than your "whole self."
Posted April 9, 2021 | Reviewed by Devon Frye
“If you’re looking for a firm with a strong team connection where you can be your whole self…”
“We welcome all, and seek talented individuals who can bring their whole self to work…”
“We appreciate different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives—encouraging everyone to bring their authentic selves to work.”
“We cultivate a community of playful personalities that thrive in a fast-paced environment where our employees can be their most authentic selves.”
These quotes are from recent job postings at well-known companies. They reflect a powerful trend in current thinking about the kind of environment that talented employees are seeking. They also imply that this kind of environment will bring out the best in their people.
This wording may be useful from a marketing perspective. But let me tell you, as guidance for getting ahead and moving into a leadership role, it’s dead wrong.
Look, I get it. There is a long history of work environments stifling people by insisting that they have to hide who they really are. Gay people having to pretend to be straight. Women told to act like men. Black people conforming to white norms. Parents pretending their children were nonexistent or unimportant. And old people—heck, we’re still trying to fool people into thinking we’re a decade younger than we really are. All of this is toxic, it’s prejudiced, and it diminishes both employee engagement and productivity .
But, honestly, your whole self does not belong in the workplace. My point of view is that in the workplace, we are there to work. All the parts of ourselves that enable us to get the job done with efficiency and excellence, both through our own work and by leading others, belong in the workplace. And the rest of who we are should stay home.
How "Bring Your Whole Self to Work" Can Easily Backfire
What parts of us don’t belong in the workplace? Here are some examples:
I’m writing this with a light-hearted tone, but the truth is that this is a serious issue. I have coached a number of senior leaders who brought inappropriate parts of themselves into the workplace and suffered very negative consequences. I think it is dishonest for employers to pretend they want us to bring our whole selves to work.
Here’s the secret: Don’t bring your whole self to work. Bring your best self to work. And encourage your people to do the same. That’s the key to harmonious relationships, top-quality work, and the satisfaction that comes from a job well done.
Share this post Facebook Bluesky Linkedin Email
There was a problem adding your email address. Please try again.
By submitting your information you agree to the Psychology Today Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy
Gail Golden, MBA, Ph.D., helps business leaders and organizations hit peak performance by drawing on her unique cross-background perspective as a licensed psychologist and an MBA-holding entrepreneur.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.