Why Ghosting Your Therapist Might Not Be the Best Idea
Sometimes a damaged therapeutic relationship can be repaired.
Posted April 7, 2025 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
So, maybe your therapist said something that really got under your skin and didn't even acknowledge it, or perhaps you aren't sure if therapy is working. You might be wondering if you even need therapy anymore. It can be tempting to cancel an appointment and not respond. Yet, this might not be the best solution. Here's why and what you can do instead.
In a training I attended some years ago, the presenter proposed that people are more likely to adhere to pets ' prescriptions than their own. It sounds right to me. Often, we care for others, even animals, more intensely than we watch over our own needs. Still, there is a reason you began therapy. Regardless of why you are considering leaving, it is worth discussing with your practitioner for proper closure, a referral if necessary, to discuss your hopes/fears, and perhaps conflict resolution. Your needs matter.
2. You Could be Missing a Sign
Sometimes, something strikes a nerve because it hits on something we haven't yet fully processed. If you have a powerful reaction to something your therapist says or does, it might be worthwhile to search inside regarding what bothers you so much about it. There could be a very good reason. At the same time, it might be a sign of something to work through.
3. Your Therapist Might Be Able to Assist You in Finding a Better Fit for a Provider
No therapist is the perfect fit for all clients. If you aren't connecting with a therapist or don't know that they have the ideal skill set to help you, they may be able to refer you to another clinician who is in a better spot to assist you. Therapists often network together and are familiar with other providers with all kinds of styles, specialties, and personalities, including perhaps another who might be a better fit. Your therapist might be able to update your new provider on the progress you have made with them or assist you in capturing a new client appointment.
4. You Might Help Other People
So, maybe your therapist genuinely messed up. Perhaps you saw them check their phone, they keep arriving late to your appointments, or they are reacting to you in a hurtful way. Therapists are human beings, and most do not enter this field to harm others. Letting your therapist (or their supervisor) know about your concerns might alert them that something is amiss. They may seek to explain (for example, if you are worried that your therapist is not looking at you during your video sessions and you let them know, they might show you their setup, which might have the monitor and camera in different spaces). It is not your job to supervise your therapist. Nonetheless, your speaking up might help others, but your therapist might need to evaluate their practices or get support for themselves, protecting others in the process.
5. Your Therapist Can Help You With a Plan for Further Growth
If you are nearing the end of therapy and feel close to achieving your therapy goals , this is something to celebrate! A vital part of ending therapy is a discussion of strategies for maintaining gains and further growth. Sometimes, clients ghost therapists because they don't want to end therapy but also aren't sure if they need to continue. Having a frank and open discussion about this with your therapist is one way to make sure your needs are getting met. Many therapists will allow for a trial time away from therapy while making it easy for you to return.
6. You Might Be in a Cycle
It is healthy in relationships of all kinds to have times of closeness, conflicts, and repairs. Sometimes, we get into a pattern of conflict with others followed by losing the relationship. This can leave us feeling lonely and disconnected. Strategies for working through rifts beyond simply walking away are critical for cultivating a thriving support system. The therapeutic relationship is like other relationships in that it is possible to feel conflict. Sometimes, there can be value in repairing the connection.
7. Cost Does Not Have to Be a Barrier
In current times, affording weekly psychotherapy sessions can be difficult for many. If you are thinking about leaving therapy due to cost, there may be resources available to help you pay for counseling. Many therapists have a sliding scale or can do a payment plan. Some even have a certain number of pro-bono slots available. Most therapists would much rather have a chance to offer you these resources than have you disappear without getting the help you need.
8. Feelings of Hopelessness About Therapy Often Imply Greater Need
If you are wondering if you are beyond help, this is the kind of conversation to engage in with your therapist. It may be that the therapy you are receiving is not right for you or that other factors are interfering with your progression. You may also be making more progress than you guess. It could also be the case that you need a higher level of care than weekly psychotherapy. Your therapist can assist you in locating resources for this if need be.
9. A Desire to Leave Therapy When Trauma Is Approached Is Normal
Therapy can be hard. Often, in these rooms, we confront some of the darkest memories we have. A part of traumatic stress is an urge to avoid. If you are finding yourself upset after sessions where trauma is discussed or feeling a sense of guilt for disclosing something that was kept in your family, these are topics to process with your therapist. Therapy is meant to be a safe and sacred space for healing. There are interventions your therapist can utilize to assist you in regulating between sessions so that you are not spiraling.
If you are considering ghosting your therapist, I strongly encourage you to weigh your options. As a therapist and someone who has spent quite some time in therapy, I believe that most therapists care deeply for our clients. If we've said something hurtful, or something in the therapy isn't working well for you, we want to know. Often, we can make adjustments or at least guide you to your next step. When cost is a problem, there are sometimes workarounds we can offer, like a sliding-fee scale. Even if you are feeling better, having a plan for staying healthy and further growth is a key component for ending therapy successfully. We can't help with what we don't know about. Still, in general, we therapists care and want you to flourish. We hope you will talk to us before dropping out.
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Jennifer Gerlach, LCSW, is a psychotherapist based in Southern Illinois who specializes in psychosis, mood disorders, and young adult mental health.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.