When Your Subordinate Is Tongue-Tied

Take these steps to help your subordinate communicate more effectively.

Posted December 22, 2024 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

Some subordinates are inarticulate or shy. They cannot seem to verbalize their thoughts. They are so overly concerned that you think well of them that they are too embarrassed to speak. While their ideas may be worth considering, they are afraid they will sound foolish.

Some are concerned they might sound boring or dull or unclear. They may think their opinions are neither necessary nor wanted. They suffer stoically rather than verifying their perceptions.

Other tongue-tied subordinates are afraid that they will be judged as weak if they ask for help. They will not ask a question that might make them appear ignorant, especially if they believe everyone else understands what is going on.

What You Are Thinking

I know Luke is capable of intelligent and spirited conversation. I have overheard him talking to his own colleagues. But he gets tongue-tied around me. And he is terribly ill at ease when he has to give a prepared talk or share a report. That is a shame . If he could get over his reluctance to speak up, Luke has the potential to go far in this company.

Your Subordinate’s Thoughts

I would like to comment when the boss asks us for ideas, but I am so scared that I will make a fool of myself. Maybe the others will contradict me; maybe they will show me that I’m wrong. Maybe I won’t choose the precise words, and I will look ridiculous. I don’t want to ask a question if everyone else already knows the answer.

Your goal is to help your subordinate feel comfortable talking to you and talking in front of others.

You: I know you are good at putting your finger on the real problem. At the staff meetings, when you ask a question that pinpoints the real issue, you play a most important role in problem-solving.

Or: (At a meeting) Luke, you worked on that last year. What do you think about the idea of repeating it again?

Some tongue-tied subordinates need more than reassurance, especially if they are having difficulty with a prepared talk. Explain how this problem can hold them back and offer to help. If you cannot coach them yourself, suggest places where they can get assistance.

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Amy Cooper Hakim, Ph.D. , is an industrial-organizational psychology practitioner, author, public speaker, and the principal consultant at The Cooper Strategic Group.

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.