When Trauma Calls: Opportunities for Healing
Addressing the old hurts that resurface.
Posted July 20, 2025 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Now and then, a psychological window opens. When that portal swings open, there is a chance to address old hurts that are resurfacing. The old wounds may be about abuse, neglect, or betrayal. Typically, trauma calls when we are currently feeling mistreated. The opening brings back the harm perpetrated initially. It can feel strange, shocking, and unexplainable. We might feel like we’re overreacting since both the current and historical emotions are activated.
Unfortunately, most people view the current predicament as regrettable, hoping for a quick remedy. Both self-pity and catastrophizing are common responses to adversity. We simply don’t ask, “When was the first time I experienced this situation?” In these cases, I’m not sure what happens to the old injury. Does it fade into the unconscious ? Does it wait for another opportunity to surface and maybe receive a much-needed medicine? Regardless of what happens to the unaddressed hurt, it serves us to be informed about the possibility of old traumas resurfacing.
To demonstrate how to identify and address a portal opening, I’ll offer an anecdotal account of my own experience. At the time, I was 34, married with three children, and very content teaching philosophy at a small college. I had been teaching there for 10 years and felt very supported by the college president, who recently left for a new position. Colleagues serving on the search committee reassured me that the last candidate interviewed held a vision of education compatible with my own.
One month after the new president’s arrival, I scheduled a meeting with her. When I arrived at the meeting, she stood and shook my hand with a robust greeting, encouraging me to have a seat. Her opening remark is engraved upon my memory : “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Without a doubt, you’ve been the most creative professor on this campus. How soon can I have your resignation?”
I sat there, shocked and bewildered, needing to confirm that I had heard her correctly. I asked her to repeat herself. And with no hesitation, she acknowledged my creativity and the wish for me to resign. Seeing me dumbfounded, she explained how the prior president paid my salary from two separate accounts, which she described as an “administrative nightmare.” We agreed I could have a week to think about it.
My colleagues were quickly up in arms, demanding that the Union intervene. I told them I needed to meet with my therapist, Barbara, before deciding. However, I did appreciate their passionate support.
“Wow! That was a hell of a greeting from the new president! Probably had you feeling shocked, hurt, and helpless,” offered Barbara.
“Yes, it did. It was the exact opposite of what I anticipated happening during this meeting,” I said, glad that Barbara understood what I was going through.
“I’m curious, when was the first time you heard someone say you were performing well, and wondered when you would be leaving?”
I was immediately confused. Where would I have heard such a statement? It took another session with Barbara to understand that the voice of the new president might be similar to the message my father had delivered. He regularly shamed and challenged me throughout my adolescence . More nuanced than the words of the president, I could hear my father saying, “You’re doing great. You’re the president of your class, captain of the basketball team, and probably headed to a good college. How soon will you be leaving?
I’m not sure what caused my father’s attitude to be so antagonistic. I implicitly heard him saying, “I want you to do my life over again for me; but whatever you do, don’t outshine me.” Maybe parenting a teenager was an “administrative nightmare” for him.
Barbara and I agreed that the portal was asking for healing to benefit my teenage self, who felt betrayed by his father. Our sessions focused on my reparenting of that teenager. I honored his hurt, reassured him that it was not his fault, and that I would provide him with an option he did not have back then. I told my teenage self that there would be no union involvement. I would teach for two more semesters, and then he (teenager) and I would leave the college the following May.
If a situation feels overwhelming, shocking, and confusing, find a competent therapist to help you explore the possibility that you’re experiencing a portal opening. Here are a few concrete suggestions for such work:
*Interrupt catastrophizing.
*Stop talking about the current situation and ask when such a predicament may have shown up earlier in your life.
*Identify who the original players were back then. What was done or not done to you? How did it make you feel? Was there any form of support back then?
*Acknowledge the feelings of the younger version of you. Reassure this younger person that it was not their fault. Then describe what you’re going to give this part of you now that could not have been shown in childhood .
*Let the younger part of you know that you will not allow such a harmful situation to happen again.
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Paul Dunion, Ed.D., has been in private practice as a psychotherapist and consultant for the past 45 years and has published eight books.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.