When Narcissism Is a Psychopath's Weak Spot

Appealing to a psychopath's narcissism may produce a "favorable" outcome.

Posted October 7, 2025 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

Psychopaths are notorious for playing mind games with their targets as they seek to victimize them. 1 The psychopath’s charm and tricks of persuasion have fooled and bilked millions.

The psychopath, especially the female, knows how to play her part well. She can be shrewd, clever, and convincing in her efforts to deceive . She thrives on winning and getting her way. She knows how to hoodwink the legal system, circumvent the law, and tell the most convincing lies imaginable.

According to psychopathy researcher Dr. Robert D. Hare, who developed the gold standard psychopathy assessment, the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (“PCL-R”), “Everyone is vulnerable to the psychopath.” 2 But is it possible for someone who suspects they are dealing with a psychopath to trick her instead? Dr. Hare believes the answer may well be “Yes.”

Appealing to a psychopath’s narcissism

Years ago, I attended the Northern New England Conference on Child Maltreatment in Portland, Maine. I still remember hearing Dr. Hare say, “If you want a psychopath to admit his crime , you have to appeal to his narcissism .” 3

Recently, I sought out the thoughts of major psychopathy researchers for their perspective on this approach. They all agreed that an appeal to a psychopath’s narcissism can produce results. In fact, they used similar techniques to get psychopaths to reveal information that the psychopaths generally would not volunteer. Dr. J. Reid Meloy noted, “It has to be done with care, and not just a transparent ego stroking. You have to let him know how special and important he is.” 4 Similarly, Dr. Jason Smith suggested that to get something from a psychopath, “You need to empathize with them, and mirror back they are a good person.” 5 Dr. Carl Gacono offered this advice, “Bottom line, you can’t do it if you do not know them better than they know themselves.” 6

Appealing to narcissism in PCL-R interviews

The PCL-R can be used to determine the potential dangerousness of an offender. A key part of the PCL-R assessment requires a specially-trained psychologist or mental health professional to interview the offender. Eliciting helpful information depends on the interviewer’s skill in employing various strategies. When questioning females who display a high level of psychopathic characteristics, providing “support or praise” during the interview may produce revealing helpful information. 7 Praise directly appeals to their narcissism. Another interviewer strategy appealing to the female’s narcissism is “mirroring,” in which the interviewer mirrors back and reinforces the narcissistic desire to know “that they are okay.” 8

Appeal to narcissism to defuse hostage situations

Hostage-taking situations may sometimes involve a psychopath or a group of perpetrators who may seem to show a high level of psychopathic characteristics. There has been some research into how specifically such situations might be handled. 9

This research has suggested how police negotiators or others involved in defusing such situations might benefit from conducting rapid analyses using the screening version of the PCL-R. While negotiations are underway, it may be possible to secure anecdotal and documentary background information for the perpetrator(s) which might suggest that psychopathy or extreme anti-social personality disorder may be underlying.

While timing might make such an analysis almost untenable, the value of this information can be significant. It can guide the strategy to be used with the hostage-taker. In situations where psychopathy may be involved, the research suggests that an appeal to narcissism may be a viable strategy option. Guidance has been developed that in such circumstances, methods of “ego-stimulation” and appealing to the hostage-taker’s egocentricity should be considered.

Accordingly, the psychopath's signature narcissism, a foundation underlying psychopathy's psychodynamics, can be turned against him to provide valuable diagnostic information or even assist in defusing a crisis situation.

Hare, Robert D. (1999). Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us . New York, NY: The Guilford Press. 46 - 52.
Hare, Robert D. (2003, September 11 - 12) . Psychopathy Implications for Mental Health and Criminal Justice. [Conference Presentation]. Eighth Annual New England Conference on Child Maltreatment. Portland, ME.
Email from J. Reid Meloy to Winifred Rule. September 4, 2025.
Email from Jason M. Smith to Winifred Rule, September 6, 2025.
Email from Carl B. Gacono to Winifred Rule. September 6, 2025.
Smith, Jason M., Gacono, Carl B. & Cunliffe, Ted B. (2021). Understanding Female Offenders: Psychopathy, Criminal Behavior, Assessment, and Treatment. Cambridge, MA: Academic Press. 253.
Smith, Jason M., Gacono, Carl B. & Cunliffe, Ted B. 176.
Greenstone, James L., Kosson, David S., & Gacono, Carl B. (2020). Psychopathy and Hostage Negotiations: Some Preliminary Thoughts and Findings. In Gacono, Carl B. (Ed.) (2020). The Clinical and Forensic Assessment of Psychopathy: A Practitioner's Guide. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. 385 - 403.

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Winifred Rule is a member of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy and author of Born to Destroy , the first instructional book on the female psychopath, based on her experiences and lessons learned from living with two psychopaths.

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.