What’s So Bad About Being Average?

In a world measured by “likes” and clicks, being average can seem like failure.

Posted November 28, 2025 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

There is a survey by the American Automobile Association that found 73% of drivers consider themselves to be “above average.” 1 In another survey of faculty at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, 68% rated themselves in the top 25% for teaching ability, and 94% rated themselves as above average. 2 In yet one more study, 87% of Master of Business Administration students at Stanford rated their academic performance as above the median. 3 Is it any wonder we laugh at the fictional town of Lake Wobegon, where all the children are above average?

Social psychologists have coined this tendency some of us have to over estimate our abilities and knowledge “illusory superiority.” It is the belief that we are better in statistically impossible ways, such as 73% of drivers considering themselves “above average.” There is some evidence that this issue is more pronounced in Western countries and less so in East Asian countries, which could be explained by the difference between wanting to stand out as individuals (Western) vs. wanting to fit in to the group (Eastern). 4

I think there is a constant drumming in the culture around us to stand out in some way, to be special or unique. It impacts our sense of self, of what constitutes “good” and “acceptable” in ways we might not recognize. I recently wrote two articles for this blog on our need to stop trying to constantly polish ourselves into better versions of ourselves. In one , I used religious language. In the second , I used secular language. The second article garnered 15 times as many readers as the first, bringing me emails from readers as far away as South America. Getting that attention , seeing the number of clicks, was both gratifying and a little intoxicating. It made me feel more special, successful, and worthwhile.

But here’s the thing: If you take away the numbers and ask me which one I like more, that I feel is better, it’s the first article. I think there is greater depth in concepts that are rooted in our religious traditions and spiritual literature. And it is precisely because the Bible transcends the trends and fashions of the day that I value it more than whatever is capturing the attention of the public in the latest news cycle.

External vs. Internal Metrics

So what happens where there is a contradiction between an external metric of success and an internal sense of what’s valuable? How does an artist maintain integrity when her work doesn’t sell? What does a politician do when acting ethically doesn’t guarantee being returned to office?

Here’s where I think acceptance of being average comes in. If we aren’t so motivated to stand out, be special, or successful in some very public way, I think it will be easier to live one’s life according to an inner compass rather than an external yard stick. There is something relieving in getting off the treadmill of improvement, in no longer trying to be as impressive as someone who impresses us. In the end, it is the inner values that stand the test of time. Maybe that’s why the Bible, over the course of human history, is the best selling book of all time.

AAA. Americans willing to ride in fully self-driving cars (Press release, January 24, 2018), https://newsroom.aaa.com/2018/01/americans-willing-ride-fully-self-driv… .

2, Cross, K. Patricia (Spring 1977). "Not Can But Will College Teachers Be Improved?". New Directions for Higher Education. 1977 (17): 1–15.

It's Academic." 2000. Stanford GSB Reporter, 24 April, pp.14–5. via Zuckerman, Ezra W.; Jost, John T. (2001). "What Makes You Think You're So Popular? Self Evaluation Maintenance and the Subjective Side of the "Friendship Paradox"" (PDF). Social Psychology Quarterly. 64 (3): 207–223.

4, Falk, Carl F.; Heine, Steven J.; Yuki, Masaki; Takemura, Kosuke (2009). "Why Do Westerners Self-Enhance More than East Asians?" (PDF). European Journal of Personality. 23 (3): 183–203.

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Josh Gressel, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist in the San Francisco Bay area and a student of Jewish mysticism. He is certified as an Imago (couples) therapist and as a ketamine-assisted psychotherapist.

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.