What "Wildflowering" Means for Dating
The advantages and disadvantages of simply going with the flow
Posted May 30, 2026 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods
You could say that this term has become quite poppy lore. It's " wildflowering ." It means allowing a relationship to either wilt or bloom completely organically without enforcing any particular timelines, labels, or expectations. Such a wild approach to dating may work for some and in some situations. But at the same time, it could leave others daisy and confused. The question then is: Where along the spectrum should you plant yourself when?
The Advantages of Wildflowering
You may prefer wildflowering if you are currently more about "going with the flow" and have the time and freedom to simply see what happens. Perhaps you are still quite early in your dating career , not ready to commit to anyone, or otherwise need time to figure out what you want in life. Maybe you simply want to play the field rather than be tied down to one person too soon.
Wildflowering could then let you freely explore yourself and others without feeling any real pressure. Maybe not having the pressure of timelines and labels could allow you to be yourself more. This could be fine as long as you still have time on your side, in the words of the Rolling Stones.
Wildflowering could work as long as the people you date are the same way, too. You could all grow wild in the field together like the backdrop to one of those pharmaceutical ads. But if you do want to get all flowery in such a manner, make sure that you clearly express your preferences to others and see whether they are cool with it. In other words, don't build others up, buttercup, only to let them down.
In fact, a little more wildflowering could even help you land a more committed and better-fitting relationship if too much rigidity in your dating has been a problem. This could be the case if you yourself tend to obsess over whether the other person is indeed "The One" way too early in dating, jump into exclusivity way too soon, or rule in or out people way too quickly. This could also be the case if you are around other people who do such things and are too rigid for your tastes.
Wildflowering can be a way to combat too much strategy in your dating life. Maybe, for example, you have a rigid checklist of superficial things that you want in a partner and are not open to others who may look a little different. Or perhaps dating apps could be forcing you to make particular decisions way too quickly. Wildflowering could then allow you to experience someone or something different more organically to determine whether you want to revise your expectations accordingly.
The Disadvantages of Wildflowering
Of course, every rose has its thorns. So it's important to cover the potential drawbacks of wildflowering as well. It may not be the right thing for you if you already lean towards being indecisive in dating, keeping things in limbo for way too long, or wasting time dating people who are not right for you. Remember, every moment spent with the wrong person could mean less time finding and being with the right person.
Wildflowering can actually be a sign that you are with the wrong people. Your unwillingness to define the relationship or commit in any way may be your gut warning you against going any further. Or maybe you are wildflowering against your will mainly because other people around you want to do it. So, it does help to know exactly why you are wildflowering.
Wildflowering certainly won't work if the other person is not into it. Dating someone who is wildflowering can be sort of like working as a temp. There is a good chance that at some point, he or she will seek someone who offers more job stability and benefits—essentially someone more willing to more purposefully grow the relationship and commit.
Finally, while wildflowering may work for you for a while, things can change with time and age. As more and more people around you become more purposeful in dating, you may find yourself wondering where have all the flowers gone? You may not have the same opportunities to keep wildflowering that you did previously.
What Should You Do About Wildflowering?
Ultimately, to know what to do about wildflowering, you've got to know yourself, your situation, and what you deep down truly want. Know the roots of any problems you may have with dating, so to speak. At the same time, be frank, open, and honest with others. Don't mislead them by pretending to be something that you are not.
Such honesty and openness should apply whenever you encounter someone wildflowering as well, If you are truly OK with playing the field as wildflowers together, then great,go ahead and put the petal to the metal. If, however, you grow disenchanted with the idea, tell the other person as soon as possible.
In general, dating is about finding the right mutual fit. Don't put up with a situation that's not right for you for too long. Be OK with being alone. Remember, as Miley Cyrus has emphasized in that song, you can always buy yourself flowers.
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Bruce Y. Lee, M.D., M.B.A., is a writer, journalist, professor, systems modeler, computational and digital health expert, physician, avocado-eater, and entrepreneur, not always in that order.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.