What We Can Learn From Extremes
How exaggerating a behavior can reveal the hidden purpose it serves.
Posted June 3, 2026 | Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
Recently, I was riding my bicycle up a steep hill when I noticed a knee-jerk reaction to sway the bike from left to right. I wondered why this was an instinctual movement, since at first glance, it seemed illogical from a purely visual point of view. After all, wouldn’t the shortest distance between two points be a straight line upward? Out of curiosity, I intentionally exaggerated this motion so that instead of subtly weaving, I rode dramatically from one side of the hill to the other, and then zigzagged upward.
The maneuver made the climb easier than I expected, as the lateral motion seemed to redistribute effort and make the incline feel less burdensome.
This little “experiment” made me further wonder about the functionality behind human behavior, especially behavior that seems to be counterintuitive, self-destructive, or even just unpleasant on the surface. Why do we do things that appear to work against us? Do they serve a purpose?
Psychologists often use the term “secondary gain” to describe one of the hidden functions of a behavior, as there is often an underlying reason for what we do, even when on the surface it seems irrational, self-defeating, or unproductive. For example, a person may meet someone new and immediately become combative and push them away. Consciously, the person might recognize that the behavior is self-sabotaging, but they may not realize that this is an unconscious attempt at self-protection: rejecting the other person before they themselves are rejected.
Since secondary gain is not always visible—or even accessible—to conscious awareness, an interesting question is raised: Can exaggeration help us better understand behaviors that otherwise seem puzzling?
Some therapeutic approaches already use exaggeration for this very purpose. The notion that what we do physically is tied to what we experience emotionally is hardly new and can also be found in the embodiment literature (Hauke et al., 2024). Gestalt Therapy has long worked on a similar premise by encouraging a person to exaggerate their posture, gesture, or emotions rather than trying to immediately stop or correct them. In turn, as the behavior becomes more pronounced, its underlying function may become easier to recognize. For example, in the case above, the combative person may eventually realize that their hostility is less about disliking other people and more about protecting themselves from anticipated rejection. Once the underlying fear becomes visible, the behavior is no longer just a confusing or frustrating habit. It starts to look more like an attempt—however imperfect—to avoid vulnerability.
If exaggeration can reveal the hidden purpose behind a behavior, then it is worth asking what some of our most common habits might be helping us accomplish psychologically.
The next time you hit the snooze button or find yourself repeatedly running late, consider how exaggeration might reveal what is really transpiring rather than simply labeling yourself “lazy.” Perhaps postponing tasks temporarily reduces anxiety , protects against fear of failure, preserves the fantasy that you “could have done better,” or simply removes you from something undesirable, such as a disliked job. In this sense, the delay itself becomes emotionally regulating—and over time, habitual.
Think about taking perfectionism to its utmost extreme, where every email is rewritten six times, and each project you’re working on remains unfinished because it could always be improved. At some point, the pursuit of excellence either prevents success altogether or becomes a series of overwhelming, exhausting tasks. The question then becomes: What is gained by never quite being finished? Perhaps perfectionism offers temporary protection from criticism, embarrassment , or the possibility of falling short. After all, work that is never completed can never truly be judged.
Now consider never disappointing anyone. You agree to every request, avoid conflict at all costs, and constantly monitor how others are reacting to you. Taken this far, people-pleasing stops looking like kindness and becomes nonstop vigilance, where you are continually gauging the reactions of others as opposed to enjoying the organic give-and-take of relationships. In that sense, the behavior may be less about pleasing others and more about avoiding the possibility of disappointing them.
Imagine responding to every inconvenience, disagreement, or disappointment with anger , such as someone cutting you off in traffic, or a friend disagreeing with you. If anger becomes the answer to everything, is this even the primary emotion , or might it be something else, like a shield? If so, the question becomes: What feels so threatening that it requires constant protection?
Consider what would happen if you avoided every situation that made you uncomfortable. Difficult conversations would never occur. Risks would never be taken, and uncertainty would never be tolerated. At first, the strategy seems to work because discomfort disappears. But if we know that learning curves are often a result of challenging situations, then a life that is completely risk-averse can become stagnant. Over time, avoiding discomfort may also mean avoiding many of the experiences that foster resilience , confidence , and personal growth.
None of this means that harmful or self-defeating behaviors should simply be justified or left unchanged. But behaviors that persist are often doing something for us, even while they are harming us. The difficulty is that we tend to focus on the surface of a behavior without asking what problem it may be trying to solve underneath.
The irony is that the behaviors we are quickest to judge in ourselves are sometimes attempts—however imperfect—to psychologically adapt, protect, regulate, or cope. Seen through that lens, even dysfunctional patterns begin to look a little less random.
As is the case when we sway our bicycle left and right while riding uphill, some of our strangest habits may be redistributing emotional weight in ways we do not immediately recognize. And sometimes, exaggerating the movement can help reveal why we were making it in the first place.
Hauke, G., Lohr-Berger, C., & Shafir, T. (2024). Emotional activation in a cognitive behavioral setting: Extending the tradition with embodiment . Frontiers in Psychology, 15 , Article 1409373.
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Cynthia Vejar, Ph.D., is program director and associate professor of clinical mental health counseling at Lebanon Valley College.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.