What Makes Life Feel Hard, and 2 Ways to Cope

Your mindset can shape how you handle stress, setbacks, and growth.

Posted April 24, 2026 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

The Psychology of Difficulty, Stress, and Resilience : How Beliefs Shape Mental Health

A recent review published in Trends in Cognitive Sciences by psychologists Veronika Job and colleagues explores a universal human experience: coping with stress, navigating life’s challenges, and how our beliefs about stress and difficulty shape our mental health and emotional resilience.

Whether you're starting a new job, planning a wedding, managing financial stress, confronting discrimination , or just learning to use chopsticks, these situations have something in common: they challenge your brain to solve problems under pressure. How you respond to these stressors can have a profound influence on your psychological well‑being.

Why We Experience Stress: When Habits Stop Working

We tend to label something a “difficulty” when our habits stop working. In those moments, effective problem-solving demands more than routine effort; specifically, focused attention , adaptive emotional regulation , goal-directed motivation , and intentional decision-making .

This is the core of stress and resilience: the dynamic between feeling overwhelmed and learning to adapt. Our coping strategies and mindset shape whether a challenge becomes an opportunity for growth or a path to burnout.

Types of Stress: How Different Life Challenges Affect Mental Health

Psychologists often group life’s challenges into three broad types. Understanding the kind of difficulty you’re facing can help guide healthier, more effective strategies for managing stress and building resilience.

Task-level difficulties (Micro Level). These are short-term, goal-specific challenges such as fixing a phone, choosing a healthy meal, or meeting a tight deadline. Coping effectively often depends on self-control , willpower , and the ability to break old habits or try something new.
Life situation difficulties (Meso Level). These involve major life transitions or chronic stress, like rising bills, becoming a parent, or relocating. These challenges cut across personal, professional, and social life , making them more complex to navigate. Managing them typically requires adaptive coping strategies and long-term planning.
Identity -level difficulties (Macro Level). Identity-Level problems involve deeply rooted, identity-based stressors such as racism, gender discrimination, or the marginalization of immigrants and refugees. Often chronic and systemic, these challenges deeply affect a person’s sense of identity, belonging, and long-term well-being.

Beliefs About Stress and Resilience: Why Mindset Matters

It’s not just the difficulty itself that affects your well-being: it’s also how you think about it. People with positive stress beliefs, who think challenges promote growth in performance and well-being, are more likely to adapt well and recover quickly. In contrast, those with negative stress beliefs tend to respond in one of two ways:

Neither response supports long-term emotional resilience. Building a resilient mindset starts with adopting a more flexible way of interpreting stress, as you’ll see in the next section.

Two Research-Backed Mindset Shifts That Help You Cope with Stress

See Difficulties as Growth Opportunities. People with a growth mindset tend to view stressors as opportunities to learn and grow. For example, a student from a low-income background may see his school struggles not as setbacks but as experiences that help him develop greater resourcefulness than wealthier peers—turning stress into strength. Likewise, individuals who believe that stress can be enhancing tend to perform better and report higher well-being.

In contrast, those who view stress as always harmful are more prone to anxiety , low motivation , and poor outcomes.

Develop a flexible mindset. As discussed above, positive beliefs about stress can be helpful when you're facing a specific, meaningful challenge. In these situations, persistence and willpower often lead to success. However, not every problem is an opportunity in disguise. And that’s where mental flexibility becomes essential.

When a challenge feels overwhelming or out of your control, the wiser move may be to pause and reassess. Flexibility involves exploring alternative paths to your goal, adjusting your goals, seeking support, or challenging unfair systems (especially in the context of identity-based stress). Without this kind of flexibility, even well-intentioned resilience can backfire. Someone living with a chronic illness , for instance, who believes they can overcome anything with effort alone, may eventually burn out .

Self-Check: How Do You Handle Stress and Setbacks?

What do you believe ( what do you tell yourself ) when things get hard? To assess your stress mindset, coping beliefs, and resilience habits, consider the following statements. Which ones do you agree with?

Final Thoughts: Flexibility Builds Strength and Long-Term Resilience

Resilience isn’t about being tough or positive all the time. In fact, negative thinking can be protective in certain situations. True resilience means recognizing the kind of stressful challenge you are facing and choosing the mindset that fits. The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask: Is this a moment to push through? Or to pause, reflect, and reset?

Sometimes, you need encouragement to keep going. Other times, you need rest, support, or a new plan to achieve your goals—or maybe even new goals altogether. Telling them apart can be difficult, but speaking with a trusted friend or mental health professional can help clarify your best next move. By building mental flexibility and practicing a positive mindset, you give yourself the best chance to adapt, grow, succeed, and protect your mental health, even in the face of relentless hardship.

Remember, resilience isn’t fixed; it’s built through the choices you make in difficult moments. One flexible step at a time.

Facebook image: simona pilolla 2/Shutterstock

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Arash Emamzadeh attended the University of British Columbia in Canada, where he studied genetics and psychology. He has also done graduate work in clinical psychology and neuropsychology in U.S.

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.