What to Do If a Loved One Self-Injures
New book details the body of research on supporting those who self-injure.
Posted February 25, 2019 | Reviewed by Devon Frye
Research shows that approximately 17 percent of youth intentionally injure themselves at some point—not in an effort to take their own lives, but as a cry for help or an emotional release. Self-injury is most common among teenagers , and more common among sexual minorities and youth with mental health disorders.
As you can imagine, parenting a child who self-injures can feel terrifying and lonely . Two adolescent psychologists—Janis Whitlock, director of the Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury, and Elizabeth E. Lloyd-Richardson, an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth—have written a new book to help parents and caregivers to understand the best ways to support youth who self-injure to encourage their recovery.
The book, titled Healing Self Injury , pulls from the body of evidence on self-injury to help parents, caregivers, and anyone who loves someone struggling with self-injury to understand what we know about these behaviors, and the best ways to help.
“Our intention with the book was to help parents support their children while also supporting themselves," Whitlock said. "Finding out that a child or loved one is self-injurying can be really scary, largely because it can feel so much like a suicide attempt and can be so confusing. They need understanding, skills, and compassion—for themselves and for their children.”
Here is a summary of some of the evidence-based, practical advice that can make an important difference in the lives of youth who self-injure and their families.
“Parents and other caretakers make an extraordinary difference in the lives of youth who self-injure, even when it does not feel that way," Whitlock said. "Modelling to youth how to be with uncomfortable feelings with some degree of equanimity is a powerful thing to model.”
The take-home message: While parenting a child who self-injures can be scary, there are positive steps you can take to support your child’s recovery. The research shows that parents can make an incredible difference in helping their children stop the cycle of self-injury.
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