Why Pregnancy and Birth Terrify Some People
Panic, disgust, compulsions and other concerns.
Updated June 22, 2023 | Reviewed by Devon Frye
The concept of pregnancy and childbirth can prompt a range of emotional reactions. It’s normal to have conflicted and varied responses. For some though, the idea prompts terror and disgust that goes beyond what might be thought of as normal apprehension or anxiety . This intense fear of pregnancy and/or childbirth is tokophobia .
Tokophobia can involve debilitating distress, a variety of panic and disgust-based physical responses, phobic avoidance, and various compulsions. These often have notable impacts on a person’s relationships and life choices, potentially depriving a person of meaningful relationships or desired children. When pregnancy is undertaken, it is with intense trepidation.
Unfortunately, while there is some formal research on tokophobia and its treatment, there does not seem to be an abundance of it. The term itself was only coined in the 2000s. In the studies available since then, the definition of tokophobia varies—making it challenging to draw accurate conclusions. And because the fear of pregnancy and fear of childbirth are often lumped together in the definition (as are primary and secondary tokophobia—see below), it is tricky to find information on more nuanced presentations.
The distinction is typically made between primary and secondary tokophobia. Primary tokophobia refers to the fear of pregnancy/childbirth without first-hand experience of it (often developing in childhood / adolescence ). Secondary tokophobia is a fear that arises following a traumatic pregnancy, loss, or birthing experience.
There seem to be further qualifiers, applicable to both primary and secondary tokophobia, that I would identify as the following (please note that this is not based on empirical research, but on my reading and clinical observations):
While research and formal guidelines for the treatment of tokophobia are scant, it seems clear that a holistic, multifaceted approach, to create the most densely layered web of support, is ideal—especially for those attempting to get pregnant and give birth. It could be helpful to identify which type of tokophobia a person is experiencing to inform the most appropriate approaches to treatment.
Ultimately, there are no right or wrong or prescribed choices. Not gestating and birthing a biological child is a perfectly valid choice that should be embraced if that’s genuinely what you want. If, however, your aim is to get pregnant and tokophobia is the main hurdle standing in your way, know that there are approaches to manage the fear and feel supported. If you are not looking to get pregnant but you avoid relationships and sexual contact for fear of getting pregnant, know that there are ways to work through the fear and have meaningful connections with others. If you are perpetually in a state of distress at the thought of getting pregnant, there is relief.
In short, if you find yourself profoundly fearful of pregnancy and childbirth, know that you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you, you are not broken, and you have options.
More posts on treatment recommendations to come. For now, for further reading, please see the reference section below.
Update: See follow-up posts on therapeutic recommendations and additional suggestions for managing tokophobia.
Facebook /LinkedIn image: zulufoto/Shutterstock
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3830168/
https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/25510068.pdf
https://www.glowm.com/pdf/section4_chapter21.pdf
https://obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/aogs.13138
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiat…
https://theconversation.com/tokophobia-what-its-like-to-have-a-phobia-o…
https://www.womenandbirth.org/article/S1871-5192(17)30025-2/abstract
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/06/tokophobia/489206/
https://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2016/07/how-to-overcome-your-fear-of-…
https://www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/how-you-might-be-feeling/tokophobia-ho…
https://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/
https://www.postpartum.net/learn-more/postpartum-post-traumatic-stress-…
https://theswaddle.com/the-pathological-fear-of-getting-pregnant-is-cal…
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Melissa Weinberg, LCPC, is a psychotherapist in private practice who specializes in the treatment of anxiety and OCD, especially during pregnancy and in the postpartum period.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.