There’s a Word for the Loneliness You’re Feeling Right Now
Understanding and easing the ache of existential loneliness.
Updated May 11, 2026 | Reviewed by Margaret Foley
As a friendship expert, at the core of my beliefs is that people are fundamentally good, that we all want the best for each other. It’s been hard to reconcile these beliefs with what is happening in the world today, with political extremism, war, chaos, scapegoating, and more.
When I came across the term “existential loneliness ,” it helped me make sense of what I was feeling. Existential loneliness is when we feel like we’re the only one experiencing the world a particular way. Fyodor Dostoevsky described it aptly in Notes from Underground when he said, “I am alone…and they are everybody.” With the U.S. government doing things that are so deeply at odds with many of our core values, it’s easy to feel alone in our sense of reality.
Here’s why existential loneliness is so harmful. It’s known as a “deeper form of loneliness” than the garden-variety kind, with a participant in one study remarking, “Existential loneliness feels like I’m alone in a void that only I can see and feel, and it doesn’t exist or matter to others, however non-existential loneliness just makes me feel sad.” (P151, 18-year-old, gender - fluid). Another study described it as feeling like “ a prisoner of one’s own mind .”
We can feel connected to others and still feel existentially lonely. Take a veteran who returned home to old friends he loves, but who will never understand his experiences on the battlefield. Or take a gay man at his heterosexual friends’ wedding who keeps hearing that marriage is meant for a man and a wife. Sure, he may love his friends and even feel connected to them, but that won’t stop him from feeling existentially lonely. (In fact, people from marginalized groups are more likely to feel existentially lonely, according to one study .)
Research finds existential loneliness impacts us in a way that’s unique from regular loneliness. Whereas regular loneliness is related to the need to find belonging, existential loneliness is not , suggesting that people high in existential loneliness may feel more resigned to their situation. This willingness to withdraw from others might also explain why the more existentially lonely we are, the less empathic , egalitarian, and communal (defined as trust, compassion, altruism , and loyalty) we are. Existential loneliness also amplifies the negative impact of regular loneliness. Loneliness is more strongly related to depression for those who are also existentially lonely.
If you’re struggling with existential loneliness, here are some ways to cope:
“But I must honestly say there are some things in our nation and the world to which I am proud to be maladjusted and wish all men of goodwill would be maladjusted until the good society is realized.
I never intend to adjust myself to segregation and discrimination . I never intend to become adjusted to a religious bigotry. I never intend to adjust myself to economic conditions that will take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few, leaving millions of people smothering in an air-tight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society. I never intend to adjust myself to the madness of militarism and the self-defeating effects of physical violence…
We need maladjusted men and women where these problems are concerned.”
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Marisa Franco, Ph.D., is affiliated with the University of Maryland and is a policy fellow at Millennium Challenge.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.