The Sexual Repertoire of People Who Feel Out-of-Control
One size definitely does not fit all.
Posted September 29, 2025 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan
When people talk about “being addicted to sex” or feeling like their sexual behavior is out of control, what sexual behaviors do they actually refer to? A recent study by Grubbs and colleagues (2024) offers one of the clearest pictures yet of the specific behaviors that tend to cause concern when people feel unable to regulate their sexual activity. The findings show that difficulties with control are not spread evenly across all sexual behaviors, and that gender , sexual orientation , age, and even religiosity shape what sexual behaviors people experience as “compulsive” or being “out-of-control”.
The study is based on a nationally representative sample of 2,806 U.S. adults. Participants were asked whether, in the past six months, they had felt that one or more of their sexual behaviors were out of control, or whether they worried that those behaviors might feel like an addiction . Those who said yes to either question (6.1% and 7.4% of the sample, respectively) were then asked to identify which specific behaviors they had in mind when responding to the questions.
Most people who expressed concerns regarding their sexual behaviors pointed to only one (44.3%) or two activities (33%). Across the sample, six behaviors came up most frequently: masturbation (59%), pornography use (45%), sex with a partner (25%), using apps to find sexual partners (15%), cruising for sex in public places (9%), and frequent casual encounters (20%). These categories were not always distinct. For example, someone who used apps to meet partners might also describe concerns about casual encounters with those partners. A smaller number of participants also mentioned solicitation with sex workers (7.8%), paying for sex in broader terms (6.4%), visiting adult establishments (7.8%), or subscribing to sexual content creators (6.4%).
Solitary vs. Partnered Sexual Behaviors
Masturbation emerged as the most common behavior people identified as problematic. Nearly 60% of those who felt their sexual behavior was out of control named it as their main concern. Pornography use was the next most frequently mentioned, with about 45% reporting it as an issue. Together, these solitary behaviors made up the majority of reported concerns, and they were especially common among men—a pattern consistent with the fact that men generally report higher rates of both masturbation and pornography use (Bothe et al., 2024; Grubbs et al., 2018).
Partnered sexual behaviors showed a different picture. Only about one-quarter of participants worried about sexual activity with a partner, and about one in five reported concerns about frequent casual encounters. Women, more than men, were likely to describe partnered sex as a source of difficulty. Less common, but still notable, were concerns about using apps to find partners, cruising in public places, or paying for sex. These patterns tended to appear in smaller subgroups; for example, about half of gay men in the sample reported concerns about cruising, while it was rarely endorsed by others.
Contributing factors: Gender, sexual orientation, age and religiosity
Gender shaped not just how often behaviors occurred, but also how they were perceived. Men of all sexual orientations were more likely to report having difficulties controlling their masturbation and pornography use, yet were less likely to report difficulties with partnered sex. Women, especially heterosexual women, more often described partnered sexual activity as a concern. Sexually diverse populations showed their own patterns: gay men reported high rates of cruising and casual encounters, while bisexual women were more likely than heterosexual women to cite frequent casual sex. Some of these differences also reflect culture and history. For example, cruising has long been a distinctive practice within gay male communities, shaped in part by the historical need to find partners in discreet or semi-public spaces when same-sex relationships were stigmatized or criminalized. While the social landscape has changed in many places, cruising still carries that cultural legacy, which helps explain why it emerged so strongly among gay men in the study (Frankis & Flowers, 2009).
Age and religious commitment were also associated with the type of sexual behaviors people felt were difficult to control. Older adults were less likely to report problems with pornography use or using apps to find partners, likely reflecting both lower engagement with these activities and generational differences in sexual habits. Religious individuals, on the other hand, more often pointed to masturbation as a behavior they struggled to manage, while they were less likely to describe casual sexual encounters as out of control.
Sexual compulsivity isn’t one-size-fits-all. When people say that they feel that their sexual behavior is out of control or have a “ sex addiction ”, they may refer to a wide variety of sexual behaviors, not just pornography use or having sex with one’s partner. People may struggle with different behaviors depending on their gender, sexual orientation, age, and personal values. For many, solitary activities, like masturbation and pornography, are the ones that most often feel difficult to manage. For others, it may be casual encounters or partner-seeking. Recognizing these differences can encourage more open and nuanced conversations about sexual health and well-being. Careful documentation of which behaviors feel unmanageable can also help improve screening, support more accurate diagnosis, and guide treatment planning.
Bothe, B., Nagy, L., Koos, M., Demetrovics, Z., Potenza, M. N., & Kraus, S. W. (2024). Problematic pornography use across countries, genders, and sexual orientations: Insights from the International Sex Survey and comparison of different assessment tools. Addiction (Abingdon, England), 119(5), 928–950. https://doi.org/10.1111/add.16431
Frankis, J. S., & Flowers, P. (2009). Public sexual cultures: A systematic review of qualitative research investigating men’s sexual behaviors with men in public spaces. Journal of Homosexuality, 56(7), 861–893. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918360903187846
Grubbs, J. B., Grant, J. T., & Engelman, J. (2018). Self-identification as a pornography addict: examining the roles of pornography use, religiousness, and moral incongruence. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 25(4), 269–292. https://doi.org/10.1080/10720162.2019.1565848
Grubbs, J. B., Lee, B., Floyd, C. G., Bothe, B., Jennings, T., & Kraus, S. W. (2024). What is the “Sex” in Sex Addiction? Problem Behaviors Reported Among Those Endorsing Compulsive Sexual Behavior. Sexual Health & Compulsivity, 31(4), 351–367. https://doi.org/10.1080/26929953.2024.2386518
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Beata Bőthe, Ph.D., is an assistant professor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Montréal in Canada, and Mónika Koós, Ph.D., is a postdoctoral researcher at the Institute for Forensic Psychiatry and Sex Research in Essen, Germany.
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