The Secret to Having a Good Vibe (That Others Can't Resist)
The seven-minute practice that will give you a good vibe and change your life.
Posted April 23, 2026 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
I was in a New York City taxi headed for the airport for a flight back to California. All should have been well except for one thing: My driver was out of his mind. Granted, I had made him wait for a few minutes while I was getting my bags. But his level of rage was truly frightening. Fueled by frustration, he was driving fast and recklessly on the highway around Manhattan. Cowering in the back seat, anxious for our lives, and feeling completely powerless, I decided to try an ancient Buddhist practice I had heard about.
I closed my eyes and started silently repeating these phrases in my head: "May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may you be at ease." They were directed at the driver, wishing him well.
To my surprise, after a few minutes of doing this silent practice, the driver noticeably relaxed, slowed his speed, and struck up a lovely conversation with me. By the end of the car ride, he even showed me pictures of his kids. The change was radical (and a relief!).
Could it have been due to my practice? Or was he just anticipating a better tip? As a scientist, I had to find out. As psychologists and research scientists, we are trained to be skeptical of explanations that rely on vague or mystical claims. So when I got back to Stanford, where I was completing my Ph.D. training, my colleague and friend Cendri Hutcherson and I decided to study loving-kindness meditation empirically.
What we found surprised us.
Across two studies, including a neuroscience study, we found that after just seven minutes of loving-kindness meditation, people felt more connected to strangers. Not metaphorically connected—measurably so, in ways that showed up both in subjective experience and in neural processes associated with social connection.
What Is Loving-Kindness Meditation?
Loving-kindness meditation (sometimes called metta ) is not about relaxation, emptying the mind, or suppressing negative thoughts. Instead, it involves intentionally generating goodwill toward others.
A typical practice involves silently offering phrases such as:
People usually begin with someone they care about, then extend these wishes to acquaintances, strangers, and eventually to all people.
Crucially, the practice does not require feeling warm or affectionate. The task is simply to offer the intention—even if the feeling doesn’t immediately follow.
Study One: A Brief Behavioral Experiment
In our first study, participants—most with no prior meditation experience—completed a simple seven-minute loving-kindness meditation (available for free on YouTube or the SATTVA app.)
Before and after the practice, the participants reported how connected they felt to other people, including strangers, using established psychological measures of social connection.
After just seven minutes, participants reported feeling significantly more connected to strangers. Nothing about their external social environment had changed; the shift came from the practice itself.
Study Two: What Changed in the Brain
In our second study, we examined neural correlates of this shift using brain imaging.
Following the brief meditation, we observed changes in neural systems involved in social cognition , affiliation, and emotional regulation , suggesting a greater sense of social connection to and care for others.
What Creates a Good Vibe?
When we like how we feel around someone, we say they have "a good vibe."
Subtle cues—softer facial expression, reduced vigilance, relaxed attention —signal non-threat. What people describe as a “good vibration” can be understood scientifically as the interpersonal nervous system signaling. When someone cultivates benevolence, their nervous system shifts toward safety and openness . The result: We like how we feel around them.
A Fundamental Human Need
Humans are social mammals. Our nervous systems are exquisitely sensitive to cues about whether we are seen, safe, and included.
Loving-kindness meditation, by helping you cultivate benevolence, can change the subtle emotional signals you send.
Instead of “you are a threat,” the signal becomes: you are seen; you are safe; you belong. And this can help others feel better around you.
What This Does—and Doesn’t—Mean
Seven minutes of meditation will not necessarily eliminate all conflict in your life. But it may very well help.
The takeaway is simple: Connection is more possible than we assume, and by changing how we approach others, we can build better relationships — even with strangers.
The best part, given how busy most of us are: Even a very brief, intentional practice like seven minutes of loving-kindness meditation can shift how we relate to others. (In another post, I share 18 other measurable benefits. )
Research is now beginning to show why cultivating benevolence and wishing others well can change both how you feel and how others perceive you. It may very well be the elusive secret to cultivating "a good vibe."
Facebook image: Roman Samborskyi/Shutterstock
Seppala, E. M. SOVEREIGN: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy & Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty & Chaos.
Hutcherson, C. A., Seppala, E. M., & Gross, J. J. (2008). Loving-kindness meditation increases social connectedness. Emotion, 8 (5), 720–724. doi.org/10.1037/a0013237
Hutcherson, C.A., Seppala, E.M. & Gross, J.J. The neural correlates of social connection. Cogn Affect Behav Neurosci 15, 1–14 (2015). https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0304-9
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Emma Seppälä, Ph.D. , is a Lecturer at the Yale School of Management and is the author of SOVEREIGN: Reclaim your Freedom, Energy & Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty & Chaos.
This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.