The Hidden Sadness of ASMR Videos
Personal Perspective: The popular ASMR videos reveal our craving for affection.
Posted April 28, 2026 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
I use ASMR videos to fall asleep. For the uninitiated, ASMR stands for " autonomous sensory meridian response ." It's a tingling sensation in the back of the head, neck, and spine in response to some sort of auditory or tactile experience. ASMR "triggers" (as they are called) can vary widely. Some common auditory triggers are the sound of fingernails tapping on hard surfaces, various forms of whispering, and the sound of a candle burning. Tactile triggers include having your back scratched or your hair brushed. Some people's ASMR is triggered by medical exams, such as an eye exam.
ASMR sensations usually occur accidentally or unintentionally, but the popular videos on social media are intentionally designed to cause them. The tingly feeling you get during an ASMR video is relaxing, so the videos make a natural sleep aid. The makers of the videos are known as "ASMRtists," and some of them have millions of followers on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.
Once you start watching the videos regularly, you see how many of them have themes of "personal attention ." ASMR is often triggered by activities like having your hair brushed, your make-up done, or your back scratched. ASMRtists will simulate these activities. They will, for example, film themselves brushing someone's hair (either a real person or a mannequin) or scratching someone's back. They also do what we might call "point of view" personal attention videos. In these, the ASMRtist faces the camera and mimics in-person personal attention. For instance, they might move a hairbrush toward the camera as though they are brushing the hair of the viewer. The same is true for make-up and skin care: they mime as though they are doing the make-up of the person watching the video. Often in these point-of-view videos, the AMSRtists will use soothing affirmations , such as "You are enough" and "You deserve rest."
The more I watched the videos, the more I started to realize that there was something sad about them. Videos like these are popular not just as sleep aids, but as proxies for a kind of physical affection and non-romantic intimacy . The value of human touch is undeniable---we know how important it is to well-being and human flourishing. But once we reach adulthood, we lose opportunities for much of this kind of affection. One of the popular themes of the ASMR videos is "the girl in the back of class who plays with your hair." The ASMRtists role-play as the girl who sat behind you in math class, say, who would start playing with your hair when she was bored .
In childhood , this kind of physical affection is common. Kids and teenagers touch each other a lot, but adults don't. Additionally, in our increasingly digital world, tactile experiences are becoming less frequent. Adults who work from home, for example, don't even interact face-to-face with coworkers. Much of our human contact is mediated through screens. It's natural that we might miss this kind of affection, and that's why ASMRtists replicate it.
Some people are no doubt watching ASMR videos to help them fall asleep, but maybe some people are watching them as a proxy for the small moments of physical affection and personal attention we are missing in our daily lives. The popularity of the videos might reveal just how alienated we feel from the physical, the tactile, and the embodied experiences of human life.
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Krista K. Thomason, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Philosophy at Swarthmore College and expert in the philosophy of emotion.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.