The Trouble With Falling in Love Too Quickly
Rushing into romance prompts risky behavior and mutes red flags.
Posted July 7, 2025 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan
Three words that are music to our ears after a first anniversary but out of tune after a first date: “I love you.” Potential suitors who profess to be suddenly smitten are viewed with skepticism or suspicion. Yet for people with emophilia, rushed expressions of romance may be well-received—and believed.
Emophilia: In Love With Falling in Love
Emophilia has been defined as the tendency to fall in love quickly, loving the rush of romance. I previously wrote about emophilia in connection with falling for dark personalities [i], explaining the risks of moving too fast with the wrong people. Jacqueline Lechuga and Daniel N. Jones (2021)[ii] found emophilia was associated with an attraction to dark triad individuals but acknowledged the open question about the mechanics. They speculated that although people high in emophilia may be attracted to dark personalities, they are also attracted to many other personalities and may ignore red flags indicating a prospective paramour may cause future problems.
More recent research by Daniel N. Jones (2024) examined emophilia more broadly.[iii] Defining the concept as a tendency to fall in love quickly and easily, Jones categorized the process as a matter of want, not need. He explains its association with rapid romantic attachment and the rush of the experience of falling in love. Regarding potential dangers, Jones notes that emophilia can cause people to engage in risky behaviors such as failing to adequately vet potential romantic partners before becoming involved, ignoring relational red flags, failing to practice safe sex , and even committing perjury for a romantic partner.
Regarding preferred personality traits, Jones explains that individuals high in emophilia are attracted to people who are charming and overconfident, including those who possess narcissistic traits, which he notes makes sense considering individuals high in narcissism are most attractive upon first meeting—although the charm is likely to wear off over time.
Money Can’t Buy Love, But It Can Be Invested
One of the regrets people have after falling for the wrong person is the loss of one of the most valuable commodities in life: time. Yet for people who fall in love too quickly, time spent with an ex-romantic partner may have resulted in the loss of more than time.
Jones notes that high levels of emophilia may fuel quick and early relational investment with new romantic partners, as new paramours loan money, provide a place to live, and make personal compromises to benefit a new love interest—even someone they know very little about. If the relationship doesn’t work out, these concessions may lead to financial problems, trouble evicting an ex-partner who has become comfortable in his or her new home or reversing occupational or geographic decisions—all scenarios that can complicate relational dissolution. Jones notes that accordingly, some people might decide to stay in a troubled relationship hoping a partner will change rather than make the effort to unravel their mistake. He recognizes a darker side to emophilia-fueled relationships as well, noting that recent research indicates that strong and early romantic feelings may lead to lying or even engaging in criminal behavior such as hiding weapons or drugs to protect a new paramour.
Lessons Learned in Life and Love
As a practical matter, despite an initial rush of romance, many partners come to realize the bloom is off the rose. Disentangling the results of hasty relationship planning is rarely worth the work. Better to move slowly and carefully, building connections of trust that are far more likely to be satisfying and stable.
Facebook image: Branislav Nenin/Shutterstock
[i] psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202303/courtship-caution-the-consequences-of-rushing-into-romance.
[ii] Lechuga, Jacqueline, and Daniel N. Jones. 2021. “Emophilia and Other Predictors of Attraction to Individuals with Dark Triad Traits.” Personality and Individual Differences 168 (January). doi:10.1016/j.paid.2020.110318.
[iii] Jones, Daniel N. 2024. “Emophilia: An Overlooked (but Not Forgotten) Construct in Relationships and Individual Differences.” Personality and Individual Differences 221 (April): 1–4. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2024.112551.
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Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Why Bad Looks Good , Red Flags , and co-author of the revised New York Times bestseller Reading People .
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.