The Devastating Effects of Parental Alienation
Anger, guilt, grief, disconnection, and low self-esteem.
Updated January 8, 2024 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods
Parental alienation is a form of child abuse that we are only beginning to recognize. Technically speaking, it’s when a child aligns with one parent and rejects its other parent for reasons that are not warranted. According to The Parental Alienation Study Group, at least 3.9 million children in the United States are “moderately to severely” alienated from a parent. Put another way, there are three times as many children in the United States who are alienated from a parent than there are children with autism .
This is, obviously, a staggering number. But what are the effects of parental alienation on children? This was the question of a study conducted by psychologists Caitlin Bentley and Mandy Matthewson of the University of Tasmania.
In order to pursue this inquiry, they recruited adult participants who had a history of parental alienation. From there, they conducted semi-structured interviews, asking a series of exploratory questions about the alienation. Their narratives were then analyzed for themes.
The results were striking. Seven themes were identified, revealing the breadth and depth of the effects of alienation well into adulthood. A selective overview of the study’s findings is provided below.
Alienating Behavior and Impact
Adult children reported a multitude of alienating behaviors that damaged their relationship with the Target Parent and their own well-being. This theme broke down into seven sub-themes:
Adult children reported mental health struggles both as children and adults. This theme consisted of three sub-themes:
Relationship Difficulties
Participants described having difficulties across friendships and romantic relationships . Five sub-themes surfaced:
Learning and Development
Participants believed that the alienation stunted their development and capacity to learn. Two sub-themes emerged:
Participants felt a pervasive sense of grief and loss, which was tied to their experience of alienation. Five sub-themes were found:
Disconnection and Dysfunction
Participants described “segregated” family lives. Two sub-themes were identified.
Participants shared how they coped with alienation, giving rise to four sub-themes:
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Caitlin Bentley & Mandy Matthewson (2020): The Not-Forgotten Child: Alienated Adult Children’s Experience of Parental Alienation, The American Journal of Family Therapy, DOI: 10.1080/01926187.2020.1775531
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Vinita Mehta, Ph.D., Ed.M. , is a clinical psychologist and journalist. She was formerly the Development Producer and Science Editor of PBS's This Emotional Life .
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.