Supporting a Loved One With Serious Mental Illness
How to foster well-being even in the face of chronic stress.
Updated May 6, 2026 | Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
As Mother's Day approaches, the weight of having a parent with serious mental illness (SMI) often becomes more salient for many individuals. Serious mental illness includes disorders that may be particularly impairing, such as schizophrenia-spectrum disorders, bipolar disorder , treatment-resistant depression , substance use disorders, and borderline personality disorder (BPD), to name some common examples. Many of these disorders are highly treatable; however, if loved ones go without treatment, the consequences can be devastating. When this is the case, holidays may be particularly painful, whether you are in touch with your loved one or maintaining distance to protect your mental health. Know that you are not alone in this experience, as I have supported numerous patients in a similar situation, whether it is with a sibling , child, or parent.
The chronic and acute stress of supporting a loved one with SMI can take a toll. It introduces a unique sort of burnout in that it requires hypervigilance to when the next shoe will drop; it is terrifying when that shoe falls to extremely dark places. The reality is, your loved ones who struggle with SMI are more likely to experience many hardships such as substance use disorders, homelessness, and major health concerns.
Unfortunately, navigating these relationships can also lead to isolation because it often requires grieving loved ones who are still present physically, but not always mentally. It is easier to explain a physical affliction to others, but the costs of a serious mental illness often confound those who have not had to personally confront it. Friends may want to help by getting into problem-solving mode, but so many of you simply want to feel seen and heard because these problems are seldom solvable.
So how do you take care of yourself given the myriad stressors that come with supporting a loved one experiencing SMI? Here are a few concrete suggestions.
Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself . Hachette UK.
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Stephanie Freitag, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist who combines evidence-based practice with humanistic philosophy.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.