Simple Relationship Tool to Ease Conflict and Grow Closer
It might not be sexy, but calender meetings help your intimacy in the long run.
Posted March 6, 2026 | Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
I see a lot of couples face unnecessary discord because they do not carve out time to discuss the schedule of their lives together. Typically, partners wing it–week by week or day by day. This becomes fertile ground for clashes in communication, concealed expectations, stress , resentment, and a life where fun as a couple gets squeezed out.
There are many facets to modern-day relationships. In my book, A Soulful Marriage , I use a wheel to represent the "8 friendships" that either bring light or darkness to your bond. Think of these 8 friendships as the spokes inside your relationship: 1) Emotional, 2) Physical/ Sexual , 3) Domestic, 4) Recreational, 5) Parenting , 6) Community, 7) Financial, and 8) Spiritual .
Like all wheels, the relationship wheel has a tire. In your relationship, communication — effective, open, and soulful communication — is the tire that allows you to safely and effectively move the relationship forward.
"Calendar meetings" are particularly important for your domestic, parenting, and recreational relationships. However, these proactive conversations can touch and enhance each facet of your love and life together, directly and indirectly.
Calendar meetings are highly undervalued by most spouses, and I was one of them. In fact, as someone who falls on the spontaneous versus planner side of the spectrum, I resisted. However, when my husband and I began these sit-down schedule sessions regularly, I became a convert. We both felt more balanced, together, and lighter. This article is to help you appreciate the surprisingly powerful tool of regular "calendar meetings" and how to do them well.
Why Make Time For Calendar Meetings?
Tips for Calendar Meetings That Bring You Closer
Calendar meetings aren't enough for a great relationship, but they are a simple tool to remove barriers and create a sense of unity. They are one way to live the "priority pillar" of your relationship, which is what happens when "we make each other the most important other person in our lives."
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Rachel Glik, Ed.D., LPC, is a licensed professional counselor and the author of A Soulful Marriage: Healing Your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.