Sex for One: What the Latest Research Shows
How often do Americans have sex with themselves?
Posted December 2, 2024 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
To promote public health, the federal government collects information about Americans’ sexuality using several ongoing national surveys that all have one element in common. They focus on partnered sex and ignore solo play—a.k.a. self-sexing, sex for one, and a term so emotionally loaded that some won’t utter “the m-word.”
The government's focus on partner sex is hardly surprising. Government officials worry about public health threats: sexually transmitted infections, teen pregnancies, and sexual assault , which all result from partner sex, not solo play.
In addition, masturbation has long been controversial and still is. Several religions prohibit it. Their clergy call it a one-way ticket to hell. And even among those who consider it normal, natural, and fine, few discuss it. When was the last time you revealed how often you have sex with yourself?
Meanwhile, sexologists promote solo sex, which offers significant health, psychological, and sexual benefits, including the following:
While government surveys ignore solo sex, academic researchers have pursued the subject—but only occasionally. Recently, investigators at Indiana University and the University of Minnesota conducted the first survey of American solo sex in 15 years. Their study generally corroborates the previous report and shows that while many Americans don’t self-sex—or at least say they don’t—sex for one is quite popular, with many people indulging more often than they have partner sex.
The researchers mined data from the 2021 National Survey of Sexual Wellbeing. Their final sample included 3,878 Americans over age 18, who represented a reasonably representative sample of the nation’s population: all adult ages, races, ethnicities, education and income levels, sexual orientations (including asexual ), single folks, and all types of relationships and partner sex frequencies.
During the year before completing the survey, they reported the following:
Men self-sex considerably more than women. Among women, only 8.5 percent do it at least weekly, compared with men’s 36 percent—more than four times the women’s rate.
Can These Figures Be Believed?
A stand-up comedian once quipped: Ninety percent of people admit they masturbate. The other 10 percent are lying . Meanwhile, in this study, many people insisted they never do—almost half of women (44 percent) and one-quarter of men (24 percent).
Should we believe them? Hard to say. Solo sex is stigmatized. Many people underestimate participation in stigmatized activities: smoking , drinking alcohol , cheating on taxes … and solo sex. So, we should expect that people self-sex more often than they admit. How much more? Who knows? But this survey represents our best current information—with the caveat that its figures are probably underestimates.
Why Play With Yourself?
The men in the study said they masturbate for many reasons:
While most men self-sex considerably more than most women, the genders’ reasons for solo play are remarkably similar. Only three reasons separate the genders by more than 5 percent:
Men said they refrain for these reasons:
Women said they refrain for these reasons:
The genders’ reasons for not masturbating are also remarkably similar. Only two reasons separate them by more than 5 percent:
About one in five study participants (20 percent) said they refrained for religious, moral, or personal values reasons. Meanwhile, this reason did not resonate for four out of five Americans (80 percent).
Competing, Complementary, or Compensatory?
Psychologists have advanced three ideas about the interplay between solo and partner sex:
The study offers no support for the competition model. As solo sex increased, partner sex did not decrease.
The report offers some support for the complementary hypothesis—but only for women. The women who self-sexed the most also had the most partner sex. But this was not the case for men.
The study offers the most support for the compensatory idea. Compared with those who felt happy with their partner sex frequency, those who wanted a little more masturbated twice as much, while those who wanted much more partner sex played solo four times more. So, masturbation clearly compensates for what people perceive as too little partner sex.
Bottom line: No matter what your solo sex frequency, you’re normal.
Herbenick, D et al. “Masturbation Prevalence, Frequency, Reasons, and Associations with Partnered Sex in the Midst of the COVID-19 Pandemic: Findings from a U.S. Nationally Representative Survey,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2023) 52:1317. Doi: 10.1007/s10508-02505-2.
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Michael Castleman, M.A. , is a San Francisco-based journalist. He has written about sexuality for 36 years.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.