Outgrowing Fear of Annihilation

The ability to take multiple perspectives has become a survival skill.

Posted May 18, 2026 | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

The great challenge facing most Western democracies is maintaining cohesion of their increasingly multicultural populations. History has not cast a favorable light on earlier multicultural nations, as regimes in power have tended to suppress all but the dominant culture—or they suffered dissolution through conquest or civil war. The challenges of multiculturalism are mostly social and political, but individuals can contribute cohesion and tolerance to a multicultural world.

The resistance to multiculturalism is based in fear —not just of losing influence, but of getting wiped out, as unrealistic as such fears may be. Fear of annihilation is part of Melanie Klein’s early childhood developmental theory. Psychiatrist Mark Epstein suggested further that fear of annihilation infects the sense of self: The less secure we feel, the more likely we are to fear annihilation.

Strengthening sense of self is paramount to outgrowing fear of annihilation. To do so, we must make it stable, flexible, and expansive.

A stable sense of self rests on basic human values and fundamental moral character: Care is good, harm is bad . With that foundation, sense of self becomes more flexible, more easily adapting to changing circumstances. It allows us to hold onto our deeper values, while appreciating (or at least tolerating) other people’s.

Flexibility in a stable sense of self allows it to pursue personal growth. We expand the sense of self by striving to be more curious and less judgmental.

How to Overcome Familiarity Bias

Familiarity bias is the human tendency to prefer the familiar over the unfamiliar, even if the unfamiliar may be objectively better. It locks us into a single perspective, with all its blind spots, no matter how limiting or distorting it may be.

Familiarity bias dominates autopilot judgments. It takes deliberate effort to consider alternatives.

Recall a time when adapting to altered conditions or circumstances seemed really hard, yet you still did it. Instead of railing against the way things were, you focused on making the best of the circumstance, or the best of your experience. That enabled you to overcome the blind spots and biases of your perspective. You widened your perspective by learning from other perspectives.

Widening Perspectives

First, recognize that the human brain is laden with biases.; they are part of natural brain functioning to conserve mental energy. Also, though, appreciate that multiple perspectives reduce the blind spots inherent in each single perspective. Acknowledge the validity of opposing viewpoints. Consider evidence for perspectives other than your own. You’ll be surprised by how your perspective expands and improves by understanding other people’s. John Stuart Mill famously said, “He who knows only his own case knows little of that.”

I like myself better when I’m...:

A solid sense of self can be bruised but it can never be annihilated. It loses nothing, but gains immeasurably, when it incorporates the best of other perspectives.

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Steven Stosny, Ph.D., treats people for anger and relationship problems. His recent books include How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It and Love Without Hurt .

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.