The Alive Space Beyond Self-Sabotage
Can one new habit change our lives?
Updated January 24, 2026 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina
Humans are the most destructive and self-sabotaging species. At the same time, however, we have the greatest capacity for learning. This makes us the most paradoxical species. In my previous two posts, I explored the reasons why. In this essay, I continue my attempt to transcend our paradoxical nature through learning.
Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl inspired us to find meaning in the space between stimulus and response. That space is not conceptual; it is a territory beyond abstract ideas, much deeper than we are accustomed to thinking. When we manage to go beyond that habitual layer, it is as if we end up in the living nature of experience itself.
In those vast realms of meaning, we transcend our characteristic tendency to link stimuli with responses through categorization and polarization. Descending into that space requires slowing down and pausing our habits of meaning. In this delay, something new is born when we broaden the ordinary narrowed subject-object structure of our minds.
What would we discover if we were to explore this space between stimulus and response with a master guide in psychology? I imagine this as a descent into the deepest regions of human meaning. We can experience those qualities of experience as valuable sources of meaning. The further realms of meaning opened up by Victor Frankl are explored through the lens of Abraham Maslow.
Entering the Deep Nature of Meaning
The Farther Reaches of Human Nature is a remarkable book because it reveals Maslow's final and most mature phase. In this phase, he shifts his focus from human growth to human fulfillment. It is Maslow's testament, a call to view humans as vibrant beings with the capacity to grow into wisdom , connection, and inner truth, rather than as deficient beings in need of repair.
One of Maslow's most notable insights is that people are often more afraid of their potential than their limitations. We sabotage our own evolution because development requires responsibility, authenticity makes us vulnerable, and the truth forces us to let go of old identities. This ties in closely with my view of self-sabotage as the evolutionary paradox of the psyche.
Maslow challenges the common interpretation of his hierarchy. Self-actualization is not the pinnacle, but rather a threshold. Below it are what he calls "Being values" and "Being cognition ": truth, beauty, simplicity, wholeness, playfulness, justice, and liveliness. These values are not ideals, but rather qualities of experience that arise when one comes into contact with their deepest self. This occurs when we enter Frankl’s realm.
He advocates for a psychology that starts from human potential rather than deficiency, trauma , or deviance. He calls this approach the "Fourth Psychology," which is neither pathological nor merely humanistic, but rather, focuses on transcendence, maturity, and meaning. This psychology sees humans as beings who can grow in wisdom, resonance, and inner freedom.
Based on his insights, we can distinguish between peak experiences, which are intense moments of insight, unity, and ecstasy, and plateau experiences, which are calm, lasting, and contemplative forms of insight. He argues that the plateau experience is the more mature form, characterized by a stable, mild, continuous sensitivity to the wonder of life. This concept aligns well with the idea of a fundamental tone of consciousness. This is the experiential tone that unfolds within Frankl's framework.
Maslow’s work describes a way of perceiving that is not driven by fear , deficiency, or ego. Being-cognition is clear, accepting, nonjudgmental, and focused on the essential. It resonates with reality as it is. We can call this way of seeing "introspective" or "resonant."
Transcending our conceptual self habits is not a mystical bonus but a normal stage of growth. Those who transcend themselves feel connected to a greater whole. They live lives of service, act from inner truth, and experience a connection with nature, humanity, and the cosmos. He calls this type of person a "transcendent self-actualizer."
Maslow and Frankl agree that love is not a romantic ideal, but rather a way of perceiving others in their essence without projection , instrumentalization, or fear. Love is a way of being present that enables growth.
Maslow concludes with a contemporary cultural appeal: a society focused solely on consumption, competition , and the ego prevents human fulfillment. He advocates for a culture that supports being, contemplation, creativity , ecology, and maturity. This vision closely aligns with that of a resonant culture.
Our Own Space Beyond Self-Sabotage
Astronomers are exploring the space around us at greater depths than ever before. Super telescopes are being built on Earth and launched into space. However, we see no similar trend in psychology to explore our phenomenological space. Since the mind is intrinsic, we must explore our internal mental space on our own. No one else can experience what is in our mind.
In this essay, I combine Victor Frankl's search for meaning and Abraham Maslow's concept of transcendence. We must learn to explore our minds and experience them directly. Remarkably, when we open up the mental space within, the meaning of the world transforms. How deeply and how far we delve transforms the meaning of our lives. Expanding the space between stimulus and response expands our search for new meaning. Can we overcome the paradoxical nature of our human psychology by learning a new habit? The space between stimulus and response is an ideal place to start. This is where we can gain firsthand experience of our own phenomenological space beyond self-sabotage. This space is always lively and open.
De Vleeschauwer, P. (2025). Caught Between Self-Sabotage and Learning : On the paradoxical psychology of human beings. New York, Psychology Today.
De Vleeschauwer, P. (2026). The Space Where Life Finds Meaning : How can we find the strength to overcome our paradoxical psychology? New York, Psychology Today.
Maslow, A. (1971). The Farther Reaches of Human Nature . New York, Penguin Compass.
Pattakos, A., Dundon, E. (2017). Prisoners of Our Thoughts . Oakland, Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
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Patrick De Vleeschauwer, Drs., created a blueprint for a new learning, "Embodied Emotional Intelligence": how to live together with eight billion vulnerable bodies with precious minds on a breathtakingly beautiful but extremely fragile planet.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.