Managing New Online Compulsive Behaviors and Addictions
Compulsive behavior in porn, gambling and media.
Posted April 6, 2026 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina
In 1995 the Internet was born. In 2007, the iPhone was introduced. No one warned the 12-year-olds at the time.
Now they are 43, and more than one generation is struggling to deal with new forms of compulsive and addictive behaviors. What is now available online in most states via a phone did not exist 20 years ago.
People often get in trouble with addictive and compulsive behaviors inadvertently and accidently. No one says, I’m going to watch one more porn video and make my relationship more difficult. Or I’m going to watch one more YouTube video and add more anxiety to my life. Or I’m going to just bet one more time on the next pitch in this game and screw up my entire life.”
But it can happen, and it does.
Fortunately, many young people are beginning to take a more cautious approach to what they can do and/or may be doing on their phone, laptop and desktop. They know what can happen. But for others, they have a problem that needs to be solved.
Our nervous systems are designed to learn and automatize behaviors. That saves energy for other endeavors. Pavlov and the later behaviorists, Skinner and others, showed us how behaviors get learned. In Pavlov’s case, x can be associated with y. When he rang a bell, dogs – which do not normally salivate to bells! – salivated. Their nervous system had associated the bell with getting fed.
Skinner and others clearly showed how easily humans can get conditioned, and what method works best. If (1) you know doing something will pay off, but (2) you don’t know when, and (3) it could be really BIG, that messes with your brain. Fisherman, deer hunters, gamblers and those involved in the dating game all can get hooked.
No doubt the brain is an object. But its physicality can lead us to miss that our brain is primarily a sea of neurochemicals, spritzed out and re-absorbed, changing every moment in time. That is, the brain is much more than a fixed, physical object. With a neurochemically different brain, you may behave in a very different way.
Most of us understand that if we drink alcohol or smoke weed, it will change the way we feel and behave. That is often why we take a chemical. It changes our neurochemistry and the way our brain and nervous system function. And we like that change, at least, in the short run.
But with other behaviors – drinking, watching porn, online gambling, binge watching TV – what starts off producing pleasant changes in feelings and behaviors may be followed by unpleasant feelings and behaviors. For a while, the fun and pleasure – feeling more relaxed, more “normal,” some people say – is so pleasant that the negative “time effects” – the effects over time – seem worth it. So the behaviors continue.
Other times, just avoiding discomfort – the discomfort that will come when writing some emails or preparing for a presentation – will produce a slight decrease in tension and stress and your brain will notice. Avoidance will become like salivating. You think of doing an email and, instead, click over to check on the “breaking” news.
People who like ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy , call this “experiential avoidance.” Skinner dramatically showed that behavior could be shaped by very small reinforcements of very small behaviors. Sadly, people do it to themselves, again, inadvertently and accidently. Once it’s done, undoing that conditioning is often very difficult. But it can be done.
In fact, almost anything you do frequently and repetitively changes your neuro chemistry, for example, listening to music, planning a garden, and studying a foreign language all change the brain. Sometimes, if we do it enough, those changes may become almost permanent. And with that brain we may be able to play beautiful music, create a beautiful garden or speak Spanish.
First, acknowledge what may have happened. Problems have developed because of engaging in a certain behavior, one that is very difficult to change.
Second, acknowledge that most people change many difficult-to-change behaviors throughout their lifetime. Millions of people lose weight and then gain it back, but many – millions – lose weight and keep it off. Moreover, many millions more – the majority – change the way they eat as they age and stop gaining, even though they may remain fatter than they would like (Bishop, 2018).
Fortunately, the same is true for addictive behavior, including opioids, marijuana and cocaine. Over 80 years of research has established that fact (Blanco et al., 2013; Lopez-Quintero, 2011; Slutske, 2006). Only a small minority do not change or recover.
So changing your behavior, reducing how much you watch porn or spend time online gamble or cutting down or stopping completely how much time you spend watching YouTube videos and checking Instagram can be done. Millions and millions do it.
Third, work on accepting that you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. Just like you can’t continue to overdrink and be a good parent, you can’t continue to avoid discomfort and engage in procrastinating behaviors and get over your addictive, semi-addictive or compulsive behaviors.
Fourth, find out what helps you reduce or stop the behavior. No one strategy works for everyone. Try various strategies and find out what works for you, e.g, meetings, therapy, medication , meditation , exercise, a change in friends, prayer, a new job or career , or some combination. For some people, the change will be gradual, but for others, the change can be dramatic.
Fifth, you are not just trying to just change a behavior, you are trying to be a different person. That’s worth it. Difficult but doable and worth it.
Be kind to yourself. You did not ask for your genes or your upbringing or trauma . Shaming and blaming don’t work. But being irritated – maybe very irritated – when you do the thing you say you don’t want to do anymore is okay. Be determined to change and persistent and patient and find out what makes change happen.
Bishop, F. M. (2019). Am I Addicted: 64 Questions and Answers to Help You Change an Addictive or Semi-addicted Behavior. New York, NY: Serendip Psychology. https://amzn.to/3eu1RYY
Bishop, F. M. (2018). Self-guided change: The most common form of long-term, maintained health behavior change. Health Psychology Open, 5 (1), 2055102917751576. https://doi.org/10.1177/2055102917751576
Bőthe, B., Nagy, L., Koós, M., Demetrovics, Z., Potenza, M. N., International Sex Survey Consortium, ... & Van Hout, M. C. (2024). Problematic pornography use across countries, genders, and sexual orientations: Insights from the International Sex Survey and comparison of different assessment tools. Addiction , 119 (5), 928-950.
Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones . Penguin.
Shu, Q., Tang, S., Wu, Z., Feng, J., Lv, W., Huang, M., & Xu, F. (2025). The impact of internet pornography addiction on brain function: a functional near-infrared spectroscopy study. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience , 19 , 1477914.
Thompson, E. (2026, March 9) I’m a College Student. Gen Z Sports Betting Is Wrecking My Friends’ Lives. New York Times. https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/sports-betting-gen-z-college-908fbada?mod…
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F. Michler Bishop, Ph.D. , is in private practice in New York City after retiring from the Albert Ellis Institute and the author of the forthcoming book, Modern Integrative Counseling and Psychotherapy.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.