Managing and Breaking Away From Toxic Relationships
Spot the signs of toxic relationships, set boundaries, and protect yourself.
Posted September 9, 2025 | Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
We all strive to find inspiration and fulfillment by connecting with others, especially in romantic relationships . While we accept a certain level of imperfection from the people we love, some relationships cross the line into being “toxic,” that is, emotionally and/or physically harmful to one or both people. While it can be hard to set boundaries with those we love, it's important to recognize what makes a relationship toxic, the impact a toxic relationship can have on our well-being, and how we can protect ourselves.
What Makes a Relationship Toxic?
Conflict and dysfunction can exist in any relationship, even a healthy one. What defines a toxic relationship is repeated harmful behavior with no effort or intent to change. In a toxic relationship, dysfunction becomes normalized, accepted, and often hidden from the outside world by one or both parties. A person may be on their best behavior around others, but as soon as they have you alone, they show their true selves. At the root of toxic behavior is usually a need for control and an attempt to isolate and dominate others.
Examples of Toxic Behavior Include:
Protecting Yourself from Toxic Relationships
The best way to protect yourself from a toxic relationship is to make sure you are well-grounded in your physical and emotional boundaries and connected to a strong support network. Whether you’re looking to get out of a toxic relationship or trying to protect yourself from falling into one, these are a few good first steps in seeing the truth and breaking free.
- Know your boundaries
Protecting yourself starts with knowing your boundaries and how to speak up about them. To define yours, ask yourself:
Now, think of a healthy relationship in your life. What behaviors would you never tolerate from that person? What would you never do to that person? Answer these questions to create a “relationship playbook” to check when it feels boundaries are being crossed,
Practice asserting boundaries in safe relationships, such as telling a trusted friend you’re uncomfortable with something. The more you do this, the easier it will become. If someone reacts angrily to your expressed needs, take it as a sign that they may not respect your autonomy.
- Reach out to someone you trust
Toxic people often isolate their partners to maintain control. Friends and family who care about you may notice personality changes or poor treatment before you do. Reaching out to them provides perspective, support, and encouragement to speak up or walk away. Manipulation thrives in isolation, but loses power when you lean on others who care for and support you.
Taking the First Steps
Toxic relationships are complex and highly personal. Recognizing the situation and making changes can feel overwhelming. A therapist or group can help you understand toxic patterns, provide tools to assert independence, and support you as you work toward freedom. You deserve healthy, respectful connections. If you recognize these patterns in your relationship, know you are not alone.
If you feel that you are trapped in a relationship that threatens you or your loved ones with emotional and physical harm, we encourage you to visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline, or dial 1-800-799-7233 for free confidential assistance.
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Millie Huckabee, LCPC , is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the State of Illinois and the founder of Sage Therapy.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.