Living the Journey vs. Chasing the Goal
Process-focused and outcome-driven approaches each have strengths and weaknesses.
Posted May 11, 2026 | Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
In one camp are those for whom reaching a specific goal is the driver. Whether it is going to New York City, making a million dollars and becoming a CEO, or completing the painting or novel they’ve been working on, these folks are always looking ahead to a finish line. For others, the journey to New York is the focus; what they do every day on the job is what counts, and the act of painting or writing—the doing—is its own reward. These are different approaches to running your life, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. Here’s how they break down:
Strengths: Outcome-driven people have a strong sense of purpose and take pride in their accomplishments. In a relationship with someone like themselves, they can inspire and motivate their partner through their shared view of life’s priorities. At work, they are admired for their discipline and achievements, and as parents, they serve as strong role models of hard work and focus.
Weaknesses: Because they are always looking ahead, the present becomes a blur or something to simply get through on their forward march. Because they can’t control the future, they are prone to anxiety ; if they don’t reach their goals or if things don’t turn out as they hoped, they can be self-critical and prone to depression . When paired with a process-focused partner, they can feel frustrated by the partner’s perceived lack of drive or feel that they are doing the heavy lifting.
On the job, they can be competitive with colleagues, undermining potentially positive relationships. They can be demanding with their children, creating anxiety or rebelliousness. And should they lose their focus and drive amid life changes— retirement or health problems—they can struggle, suddenly lose purpose, creating, for some, a long, many-year challenge and transition.
Strengths: Because they are rooted in the present rather than the future, they not only appreciate the now but also feel less anxious. Because their creativity is its own reward, regardless of the outcome, they are less self-critical. In contrast to the tense atmosphere of even the best outcome-driven relationships, their relationship with someone like themselves is easygoing and relaxed. This same laid-back attitude can carry over to parenting —they are role models for living in the present and give their children room to experiment, explore, and discover their unique talents. On the job, they are well-liked and respected for their steadiness and positive attitude toward the work itself.
Weaknesses. In its more extreme form, such individuals’ lives can seem aimless, unfocused, and passive, accepting what life offers rather than shaping it to their own vision. If paired with a driver in a relationship, they may feel underappreciated or constantly criticized, or view their partner as a workaholic , leaving them feeling neglected. In parenting, their laid-back attitude may not provide the stronger guidance some children need, leading children to drift or feel frustrated by what can seem like a lack of care.
Finally, if they pause to compare themselves to friends or colleagues, or look back on their lives, they may regret not having more to show for their lives.
If we look at this process vs. outcome on a continuum, where do you see yourself landing? What do you need to do to make better use of the strengths of each while reducing the weaknesses, nudging more toward a happy middle — Goldilocks’ “just right”?
If you feel a bit adrift, if you feel that you’re lacking a strong sense of purpose or a clear vision of the future, think back to past interests that sparked passion and excitement, challenged you, and made you feel most alive. While your interests may have changed, try to distill what, at their core, created that excitement: maybe tapping into a talent that has withered over the years, or being around like-minded people instead of being so isolated. If you are unhappy in your primary relationship or with your parenting, what needs to change most to improve the relationship climate or to help you to be a different role model for your children?
And if you are living too much in the future or are too driven, how can you slow down enough to fully appreciate the present? How might you reduce your workload, reassess your goals or timelines, push back against self-criticism, or simply build in non-work activities so you don’t default to work?
Finally, step back and look at your lifestyle: If you were to rebuild your everyday life from scratch today, what would you add or eliminate? What would change about what you do, how you relate to others, and even how you look? This is the ultimate opportunity to fake it until you make it and see what unfolds.
So, your challenge is this: Is there a way for you to appreciate both the journey and the goal?
Taibbi, R. (2018). Doing family therapy, 4th ed. New York: Guilford.
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Bob Taibbi, L.C.S.W., has 50 years of clinical experience. He is the author of 13 books and over 300 articles and provides training nationally and internationally.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.