Is Work-Life Balance Real?
Maybe work-life balance is not actually a problem to fix, but a dilemma to manage.
Posted May 26, 2026 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
The elusive “work-life balance”: Is it possible? What is it exactly? I think of it as somehow maintaining professional success and personal success without letting one of the two significantly interfere with the other. Most of the time, though, it seems that work-life balance simply refers to not letting your workload deprive you of a satisfying personal life.
Perhaps it’s unrealistic for most of us to think that we can “have it all,” if that means being at the absolute pinnacle of our profession and having all the desired time and energy to spend in recreation, personal pursuits, and relationships of all types. So what can you do?
Achieving work-life balance is often framed as a problem to solve, once and for all. Even using the word “achieve” implies the possibility of being “done” with the goal. However, I believe that work-life balance is a dilemma to manage, rather than a problem to solve. A dilemma is a complex situation requiring a choice between two or more conflicting alternatives—that is, choosing one represents loss of the other.
Think of work and “life” as two ends of a continuum. As you move closer to one, you move farther away from the other. We might think of “balance” as camping out somewhere in the middle. The wrinkle with that goal is that sometimes one end of the continuum demands greater attention . For example, you may necessarily be more involved with work when you’re working toward a promotion, you have just received one, or the organization where you work is going through a restructuring. On the other hand, you may necessarily be more involved with “life” when there is a new addition to your family, you need to provide personal care for someone, you experience health problems, or you go through a divorce or the death of a loved one.
How You Feel About Your Location on the Work-Life Continuum
Instead of worrying about where you are on the work-life continuum, ask yourself how you feel about it. If you feel dissatisfied, is any part of that coming from expectations you feel from specific others, or society generally? Working a lot may be just fine with you, yet you're conflicted because of contrary expectations. For example, you may feel the pressure of the societal belief that "someone like you" should “get a life.” Or as a parent, you feel the pressure of trying to live up to whatever image of a "good parent" you're comparing yourself to. Be sure that you’re assessing your unique situation from the perspective of your own values, preferences, and set of people who comprise your personal world.
If you’re feeling overworked, have you exhausted the possible ways to make your work life more manageable? In previous posts, I wrote about the psychology of time management and productivity ( here ), unrealistic expectations of getting everything done ( here ), and when and how to say “no” at work ( here ).
Perhaps it’s not possible to reduce your workload or manage it any more efficiently. In that case, are there ways to make work more personally satisfying to offset negative effects on your non-work life? In a previous post I wrote about the Big 4 universal human needs, and being aware of how these stack up in your life may point to why it feels as though your life is out of balance. In another post I wrote about the process of “job crafting,” which involves modifying your job in ways that lead to greater personal satisfaction.
The Role of Attention in Work-Life Imbalance
I think that some instances of work-life imbalance have to do with attention. That is, it seems that work intrudes into your life away from work. This could be in the form of having to do work at home or having work invade your thoughts or conversations. Here, the challenge is in maintaining firm boundaries between work and home. It may be helpful to create a ritual for ending your workday and transitioning to your commute. Such a ritual could entail any series of physical actions that you perform every day as a signal to yourself that you are bringing closure to the workday and that it’s time to shift your attention. This is especially important if you work from home.
How do you keep thoughts about work from invading your off time? Here’s where your commute can be useful as that buffer time during which you rehash the workday in whatever ways feel necessary for you. While at home, if a thought about work pops into your consciousness, reminding you of something undone, make yourself a physical or digital note so that you don’t have to think about it again until you’re at work the next day.
Practicing Mindfulness
Last, try thinking about work-life balance as an issue of quality rather than quantity. If you don’t believe that you have enough time with your family, friends, or recreation, practice being fully present and aware during those limited times. Mindfulness in everyday living is a skill that can help you be more efficient at work and more satisfied with your experience of life outside of it.
If I had a singular cure for the work-life dilemma, you wouldn’t be reading this post (I would have marketed it already and retired to my own island). Instead, my hope is that this reflection on the topic has prompted you to consider some alternative perspectives and strategies that result in at least a bit more satisfaction.
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Michael Wiederman, Ph.D., is a former clinical psychology professor who now works full-time applying psychology to the workplace.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.