Is Love at First Sight Real?
Does this phenomenon really exist—and if so, what explains it?
Posted March 22, 2019
We hear about “love at first sight” in movies, songs, and in many real-life “how we met” stories. While it certainly makes for a beautiful and exciting story, does the phenomenon actually exist? And if it does, what explains such a rapid, loving connection?
What Is Love at First Sight?
We form first impressions very quickly and often gauge how we feel about another person in milliseconds. A quick glance can actually supply us with a lot of information—accurate or not. Studies have found, for example, that by taking a quick glance at a person’s face, we can make a split-second decision as to whether or not he or she is trustworthy (Todorov, 2008).
When we're first drawn to a person, it's often based on physical appearance, and research has suggested that we are quickly attracted to people who look like us. Experiments conducted by Fraley and Marks (2010) have shown that people prefer faces that were immediately preceded by a subliminal photo of their opposite-sexed parent or morphed with their own image.
What creates the jump from first-glance attraction at first glance to feelings of love? This attraction-to-love transition may be explained by the halo effect .
The halo effect is a powerful phenomenon in which we form an impression of a person as a result of inferring attributes from concrete information (Nisbett, & Wilson, 1977). Essentially, our assessment in one area—in this case, viewing a person as attractive—can influence our beliefs about the person on other attributes, such as his or her personality . The “what is beautiful is good” phenomenon is a type of halo effect, in that people who are judged as beautiful are also judged to have more socially desirable personality traits, to be more likely to succeed in their jobs, and to be better partners (Dion, Berscheid, & Walster, 1972). From this split-second judgment of attraction, we potentially infer qualities about the person that would make them a good partner and even someone we are likely to love.
What happens when we experience love at first sight is that we think we know more about a person than we actually do. While this may create an instant connection or spark, it is imperative to take time to get to know the person and build a strong foundation to create a truly loving long-term relationship.
Dion, K., Berscheid, E., & Walster, E. (1972). What is beautiful is good. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 24 (3), 285.
Fraley, R. C., & Marks, M. J. (2010). Westermarck, Freud, and the incest taboo: Does familial resemblance activate sexual attraction? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36 (9), 1202-1212.
Nisbett, R. E., & Wilson, T. D. (1977). The halo effect: Evidence for unconscious alteration of judgments. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 35 (4), 250.
Todorov, A. (2008). Evaluating faces on trustworthiness: an extension of systems for recognition of emotions signaling approach/avoidance behaviors. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1124 , 208–224. doi: 10.1196/annals.1440.012
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Marisa T. Cohen, Ph.D. , is a psychology professor, relationship researcher, and author of From First Kiss to Forever: A Scientific Approach to Love .
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