Immature Innocence vs. Mature Innocence
Immature innocence vs. mature innocence: Moving beyond immaturity.
Posted October 17, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
We can think of childhood innocence as appropriately immature , characterized by magic, imagination , naivete, and ignorance. It appears some of the early magic can spill over into adulthood, not contributing to a robust maturation. However, can some of the initial enchantment actually support our development? I’m suggesting that there is a mature innocence that can augment our emotional and cognitive broadening.
Let’s explore some distinguishing features between immature and mature innocence .
Speaking hyperbolically . Mark Twain was a master of the literary use of hyperbole: “I was quaking from head to foot, and could have hung my hat on my eyes, they stuck out so far.” It is expected to interject hyperbole in everyday conversation: “I was dying of laughter ,” “I haven’t seen him in a million years.” Children naturally speak hyperbolically: “This fire truck is the best in the whole world!” “No one will ever see a circus better than this one!” Children use hyperbole to express excitement and more subtle emotions such as gratitude , surprise, enthusiasm, pleasure, and satisfaction.
What happens when hyperbole is woven through an adult’s regular use of language? It becomes a coping mechanism. Lovely everyday experiences are vaulted into majestic status: “Wow! These clouds are the most awesome ever!” “That dinner surpassed anything anyone could ever imagine having in one lifetime!” “I didn’t just fall in love; something extremely cosmic has taken place that will not be subject to be explained in human terms!”
The persistent use of hyperbole not only brings attention to what is said but also to the speaker. The consistent use of hyperbole defines the speaker as steadfastly celebrating life and caught in a distortion of reality. Could it be a compensation for once neither feeling heard or seen? I’ve seen compliments woven with hyperbole: “You are the very most, beyond all comparison, the utmost loving human being that anyone could ever meet!” “You don’t just help people. You are a most polished conduit of divine grace being channeled!” Of course, if you’re feeling down on yourself, you’ll likely remember where you can get quite a boost.
There’s no such thing as defeat or failure . Naivete accommodates the ego’s need to be sanitized. There’s a significant loss of the depths of character issued by not being honest about defeat. Defeat has the potential to inform us about our rightful size and the immensity of life. We get to know ourselves more and have an increased understanding of the ineffable nature of life’s mysteries.
The belief that you can get life right. This belief also reflects the ego’s need to be in charge. The mystery, insecurity, and unpredictability of life are denied. Life is strategically lived and duly calculated with the illusion of a favorable outcome.
Answers are held to be sacred. Attaining answers or solutions adds to the delusion that life is simply a large puzzle that will be explained anytime now.
Happiness is the primary goal. Happy is primarily a feeling of being untroubled, cheerful, and pleased. There is confusion about how to offer meaning to loss, defeat, and suffering because they don’t feel good.
Imagination as a replacement for reality . Imagination can easily replace reality when we become hyperbolic in our everyday conservation. The imagined that once had monsters and aliens in the closet now attributes extraordinary powers to someone allegedly transcending the human condition.
Language reflects an acknowledgment of the sacred ordinary. There is no need to exaggerate the wonder and beauty of ordinary living. There is often a feeling of being blessed by everyday experiences.
Defeat is viewed as an essential way of maturing . The mythologist Michael Meade suggests we seek “to be adequately darkened.” There is faith in creating a relationship with defeat that will help to deepen who we are. Victor Frankl in a concentration camp held the relationship with his defeat by wondering, “What is this asking of me?”
There is an investment in allowing life to get you right . Life is accepted as simply too large to get right. There is a faith that life might get you right if you allow life to touch you and let go of either attempting to triumph over life or feeling victimized by it.
Questions are deeply valued . Remaining curious is cherished regarding what truly matters, such as love, courage, justice, humility, authenticity , compassion, devotion, healing, and human potential. Answers are viewed as reductionistic, not allowing for the depth and breadth of these significant guiding principles. There is faith in honoring a deserving inquiry.
The primary goals are learning and healing. Again, innocence morphs into a faith that learning and healing will allow us to become the kind of meaning-makers strengthening our ability to serve. We can notice an increased capacity to forgive , to be compassionate, to let go and hold on more appropriately, to be comfortable being accountable, and an inclination to be generous. Sometimes, the learning and healing feel pleasurable, and there are those times when they feel intolerable.
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Paul Dunion, Ed.D., has been in private practice as a psychotherapist and consultant for the past 45 years and has published eight books.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.