How We Create Face, and Save It When We Have To
Understanding how we want to be seen by others.
Posted June 3, 2026 | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
We all hold a picture or vision of ourselves. We likely have multiple visions or impressions of our physical characteristics, age, gender , culture, experiences, talents, strengths, and limitations—everything that makes up our identity .
Our vision of self may be consistent, or we may have different visions that come to the forefront in different situations or with different people. In addition, we want other people to hold our desired visions of us as well. For instance, I want my friends to see me caring, supportive, trustworthy and humorous. As an academic, I want my students and colleagues to see me as intelligent, trustworthy, and strong, as well as caring and supportive. As a daughter I want my parent to see me as supportive, knowledgeable, and caring.
These desired impressions of self are part of our identity. As a communication scholar, I want to stress that communication is central to how we view ourselves and how others view us . For instance, at work we might submit a report early to highlight our commitment to the organization. As is so often the case, communication serves double duty; for example, when we contact a friend to offer our support, we are also communicating in ways that also help create or reinforce our desired impression as a caring friend. And while others are creating their impressions of us, we are also creating our impression of them.
The desired impression of ourselves we seek to create is called face . It is possible to try and create an impression of self that is false; for instance, a person abusing alcohol may try and create an impression for their friends and family of being sober. More often, however, we are choosing certain aspects of our identity that we want to stress in a particular situation or relationship.
Face comes from a combination of personal characteristics (occupation or height), culture (patterns of behaviors of a particular group), reputation (what others might have seen or heard about us), past experience with this specific person or group (a parent or pastor), the context or situation (a sporting event or family reunion), or goals we are trying to accomplish (O’Driscoll, 2011).
Facework: How We Create Our Desired Face
To communicate in ways that help create our desired impression, we do facework . Erving Goffman developed this term, thinking about facework like being an actor on the stage. Through the things we do and say (and those we choose not to do and say) we create a vision of ourselves that we would like other people to accept and use. Face is not a label given by others, but reflects our choice to convey ourselves in a certain way (Samp, 2018).
Not only are we doing facework and putting our desired impression forward to others in different situations, we are also on the receiving end of facework by other people. Other people are communicating to create their own impression of self, and they are hoping or expecting us to accept and validate how they wish to be understood. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are creating and sharing face in each thing we do and say.
For example, as I was writing this post, I realized that I had forgotten to give a friend some medical paperwork I picked up for her when I accompanied her to a physician appointment. I needed to do something about my error and try and modify any damage to how I want to be seen as a caring and responsible friend.
This is an example of facework in which people are interacting in such a way that they hope others are accepting and supporting of the impression of self that they desire.
How People Overcome Face Threats
Of course, sometimes facework does not go as smoothly as we would like. This is what we call a face threat and we try to handle it in a preventive or corrective way (Miller-Ott & Alverez, 2018).
In the situation with my friend described above, I had several choices of what to do, including sending the missing paper along to my friend and saying nothing; apologizing; offering an excuse; and/or doing what I could to repair my error. I chose to apologize and send her the paperwork. My friend kindly texted me right back saying, “You have had a ton of paperwork to deal with to help me and have done an amazing job getting me through it.” I certainly appreciated that my friend accepted my apology and validated my impression of self.
Facework and Intentionality Matter
In the end, it is important to remember that, if we are wise , we are paying attention to how we wish to be perceived and understood by others and realize others are doing the same. This knowledge should make us more aware and intentional in terms of our own goals regarding what we choose to do and say, especially in relationship relationships we care about. It is important to pay attention to impressions we are creating as we go throughout our daily interactions with a partner, children, friends, co-workers, clients, members of our different groups and organizations, and even with strangers in public.
Understanding the process of facework helps us remember to pay greater attention to our communication and actions—in such a way that we are thinking about how we might interact to create our desired impression rather than leaving this to chance. Of course, we can pay so much attention to face that we can become overly concerned and find ourselves unable to move forward.
While we cannot guarantee how another person perceives us, so often we can make a sincere effort to help maximize and communicate our strengths and desired face.
Goffman, E. (1959). The presentation of self in everyday life. First Anchor Books.
Miller-Ott, A., & Alverez, C., F. (2018). Face theory: The ongoing performances of our lives. In D. O. Braithwaite & P. Schrodt (Eds.), Engaging theories in interpersonal communication: Multiple perspectives (3rd ed., pp. 171-181). Routledge.
O’Driscoll, J. (2011). Some issues with the concept of face: When, what, how, and how much? In F. Bargiela-Chiappini & D. Z. Kádár (Eds.), Politeness across cultures (pp. 17–41). Palgrave Macmillan.
Samp, J. (2018). Negotiating “us” versus “me”: The influence of face concerns. psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conflict-matters/201802/negotiating-us-versus-me-the-influence-of-face-concerns
Share this post Facebook Bluesky Linkedin Email
There was a problem adding your email address. Please try again.
By submitting your information you agree to the Psychology Today Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy
Dawn O. Braithwaite, Ph.D., a professor of communication emerita at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, studies families and close relationships, especially step- and chosen families.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.