How to Protect Yourself From Empathy Fatigue
A kind heart can lead to empathy fatigue. Instead, take compassionate action.
Posted May 18, 2026 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
It’s a little-known fact in the West, but a sophisticated model of the mind existed almost 2,500 years before Freud developed his theory of psychoanalysis in late-19th-century Vienna. This detailed map of the human mind was created by Siddhartha Gautama, who developed his theory through long, hard years of experiential trial and error, eventually achieving enlightenment after 49 days and nights of deep meditation under a Bodhi tree in Northern India. Upon realizing the true nature of both inner and outer reality, he became known as the Buddha, which means "Awakened One." He then spent the rest of his long life sharing his wisdom and insight with others—and it’s no exaggeration to say that the Buddha’s teaching changed the world.
Partly because of this oft-told story, in which deep meditation leads to enlightenment, most people associate Buddhism with meditation. And although meditation is, of course, both helpful and important, it’s just one small component of Buddhist practice. At the heart of the Buddha’s teaching was how to live—he provided his disciples with practical, comprehensive guidance on how to think, speak, work, and treat others with respect. In Buddhism, developing skills like "right speech" (don’t be harsh, lie, or slander) and "right action" (behave morally, peacefully, and honourably) is the first step in freeing yourself and other beings from suffering, which was the Buddha’s primary aim.
Compassion for all sentient beings
This involves treating all humans—without exception—with compassion, which is not so easy. Then mammals, birds, fish, insects, trees, and plants, until your compassion is boundless, infinite. In the Buddha’s kind, inclusive manifesto for healing the world, no living being is left unloved. Compassion is one of those words, like " trauma ," that is often misunderstood. Let’s explore exactly what it means through the story of David, a homeless man you pass on your way to work. Like anyone forced to live on the streets, David is struggling. He lost his job and home because of severe mental health problems and ended up joining London’s heartbreakingly large community of homeless people. As you walk past David, his predicament hurts your heart. If you felt sympathy for David, you would feel sorry for him. "Poor guy," you might think. "That’s a horrible way to live."
Taken one step further, with your kind heart and sensitive soul, you might feel empathy for David. This is a deeper and more resonant state than sympathy, because it means you would put yourself in his shoes, imagining what it was like to be him: to have endured a life of such suffering that he ended up sleeping on a cold pavement. To feel empathy, we need what psychologists call " theory of mind ," which means the ability to project ourselves into someone else’s head, imagining what they might be thinking.
We also need to open ourselves up to pain, because empathy involves feeling a little of David’s anguish. There is a lovely Buddhist saying about this, which is experiencing a "trembling of the heart" in response to other people’s suffering. If you felt empathy for David, your heart would tremble at his hunched posture and sad, sunken eyes. This is why empathy can be overwhelming, because if we are too open and feel the world’s pain, we can become exhausted or depressed . It’s just too much.
Taking compassionate action
This is why the final step is so important. And that is to feel compassion for David, which first requires feeling empathy—letting your heart tremble at his plight. But the second step in compassion is that we engage with his suffering and feel determined to do something about it. Just feeling sympathy, you might experience a momentary pang of sadness and then walk on by. Feeling empathy, you might keep walking, but your heart would ache, and your thoughts would circle back to David throughout the day.
Crucially, with a compassionate mindset, you would be unable to walk past. You would feel compelled to stop and talk to him, asking how he was and if you could help. Just treating David as a fellow human being would be a compassionate act, as most people walk by him without even making eye contact. You might buy him a sandwich and a cup of tea. And come back every day, perhaps bringing him a warm coat, or helping him find a shelter. This is why every great teacher in history, from the Buddha to Jesus, Gandhi to Martin Luther King, urged us to treat others with compassion, because this is how we change the world.
–This is an extract from my new book , Heal Your Trauma: How to Overcome a Painful Childhood to Become Happy and Whole Again .
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Dan Roberts, MBACP, is a psychotherapist, writer and teacher who specialises in helping people heal from childhood trauma. He is the author of Heal Your Trauma: How to Overcome a Painful Childhood to Become Happy and Whole Again .
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.