How to Let Go of Regret
Viewing regret as a form of grief helps us deal with regrets and let them go.
Posted January 15, 2026 | Reviewed by Margaret Foley
Regret may be the inner critic ’s favorite topic. Regret is lamenting about past choices that we now consider to have been mistakes. But this tie to the past does not have to be taken as the whole picture.
Regrets serve to keep us stuck because the inner critic mutters, “You have made so many mistakes because you are inadequate and unskilled. You are too messed up to work anything out or try something new.” This is, of course, the voice of fear , the king of all regrets. Once we accept the given that we all make mistakes, fail to act, and choose impulsively and unwisely, regret is no longer about shame . It can be about saying yes to our human predicament with all its intriguing intrigues.
It's important to remember that mistakes are a given of human experience, but we often think that this given applies only to us. Indeed, regret thrives on isolation: “Only I could have been that dumb.” Actually, we have all been that dumb, and worse. Our compassionate sense of ourselves in this frail human family makes regret less impactful. In that context, regret can help us cultivate the virtue of humility.
In addition, regret is about grieving. The root word “gret” means "to weep" or "to lament"—essentially, to grieve. We keep spinning our wheels in our grief experience, never resolving it. That is why regret keeps gnawing at us. We repeat rather than complete. All our errors and losses are meant to go to grief, then to nostalgia , and then to letting go. When we interrupt this protocol, we wind up stuck in regret.
How to Break Free From Regret
One way to work with regrets is to examine how they may relate to our life themes:
Adapted from Ready: How to Know When to Go and When to Stay (Shambhala, 2022).
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David Richo, Ph.D., is a retired psychotherapist, now an author and workshop leader.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.