How to Be Less Miserable, End Negativity, and Feel Joy
We can challenge negative thinking and inspire a more positive mindset.
Updated January 16, 2026 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods
For many people, their minds often prefer to indulge in unfavorable and pessimistic thinking; it then hijacks them into misery—into pure hell, as one of them tells me. This mindset throws them off, and they become distressed over the past and get worked up about the future, locking themselves in mental anguish.
I'm a pretty hard-core optimist , mostly, I suppose, from being raised in a positive-thinking home and surrounding myself with "fairly up" friends. My father used to say there's no such thing as a "bad day"—they're all shades of "good." While I blew this off when I was young, I came to see how valuable his positive attitude was as I watched him go through some difficult times, and as I did as well.
Frankly, it's often difficult for me to fully understand the negative spaces in which some people travel, while it seems that their lives should be going well, at least by what they have and how they live. However, looks can be deceiving , and for these and other reasons, I was pleased to learn about Lybi Ma's new book, How to Be Less Miserable: End the Negative Mind Loops and Find Joy, and how we all can turn to science to help us take control of these negative mindsets.
Of course, just because science says something is possible, it doesn't mean that it's easy to achieve or even achievable by everyone. However, Ma, the executive editor of Psychology Today , offers evidence-based methods to overcome the patterns that lead to anxiety , depression , and more, and also covers a wide range of topics, including healthy ways to pursue happiness ; how to overcome stress and anxiety; the perils of social media ; and being kind and true to yourself. Here's what she had to say about her important and very timely book.
Marc Bekoff: Why did you write How to Be Less Miserable , and why did you choose this title?
Lybi Ma: Humans have a negativity bias; we tend to think the absolute worst about events and interactions. During the pandemic, some people were better able to manage the thoughts from which the brain wants us to suffer. These people soldiered on, while others did not fare as well. I wondered why. What does it take to bypass the brain’s tendency to settle on gloom? I realized that we are all miserable to different degrees.
MB: How does your book relate to your background and general areas of interest?
LM: My family is Hui from the Qinghai–Tibet Plateau in Northwest China. My parents came from a time of mule carts, cotton-quilted shoes, and sheepskin jackets. Marriages were arranged, and firstborn sons took over the family business. They had a different worldview.
I am a product of two cultures; I often have different reactions to situations in life. I realize that Western culture does sometimes feed the inner voice that worries and churns, but Western culture also encourages positive aspirations like personal freedom and individual expression. In turn, Eastern thought promotes important aspects of living, such as harmony with others and detachment from desires that may make us miserable, but it also likes to lay blame and guilt . I am taking the best of the two worlds that have shaped who I am. I have also learned a lot from editing content on this platform; many researchers like yourself inform me about new findings in the behavioral sciences.
MB: Whom do you hope to reach?
LM: People have everyday battles; they deal with disappointment, self-sabotage , unhealthy compulsions, ruminations, and other difficult mental states. General global strife also exacerbates this internal melee, and people across domains sometimes say they feel little hope. I think this book can help people see a way forward.
MB: What are some of the topics you consider, and what are some of your major messages?
LM: We are miserable by default; we have a bias toward negativity. This built-in tendency is a byproduct of evolution. Ancient humans had to be alert and ready for predators; it was important to avoid being eaten. Likewise, modern man looks for harm, whether there is danger or not. This pessimistic backdrop is the reason why we oppose the many emotions we feel. There is a general prejudice that hard emotions like anxiety and sadness are bad, but easy emotions like happiness and excitement are good. We spend a lot of time negating half the emotions we experience because of this. This narrow view of emotional life might stunt our growth. Emotions are not the enemy. All emotions are part of life, and we should feel all of them. How can a person feel real joy without knowing the pain of sadness?
MB: How does your work differ from others that are concerned with some of the same general topics?
LM: This book blends evidence-based research with stories about real people. We learn from the struggles of others, and we also learn about the science behind overcoming these struggles. One simple example is the relationship we have with animals, something you understand well. People feel less lonely in the company of their loving pets , and animals may even improve a person’s overall mental health. The science will show the way .
MB: Are you hopeful that as people learn to manage and overcome negative feelings and be more joyful, it will benefit not only them but also others with whom they interact?
LM: Emotions are contagious. Research from the University of Rochester, for example, found that we mimic others. If we sit in a room with a highly motivated person, our motivation is positively affected; if we sit in a room with an unmotivated person, our motivation is negatively affected. This can happen just by being in the other person’s presence , regardless of whether we talk to that person or not.
We can all be more at peace with ourselves and rid the gloom inside our heads. If our emotions spread, they might as well be the emotions that give us peace.
In conversation with Lybi Ma, executive editor of Psychology Today. In addition to working on the print magazine, she also edits its website and blog platform, which hosts more than 900 authors, academic researchers, and journalists.
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Marc Bekoff, Ph.D., is professor emeritus of ecology and evolutionary biology at the University of Colorado, Boulder.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.