How a Changing Body in Perimenopause Carries Mental Weight
Validation, self-advocacy, and social support protect women’s mental health.
Posted May 8, 2026 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods
It’s hard. Especially as you grow older.
I can still remember giggling at my mother when she carried a fan around our family home and even out in public. Back then, I thought it was funny. I couldn’t understand why she seemed so attached to that little fan, waving it around like a comfort blanket. At the time, I believed I had decades before I would ever relate to her experience. Little did I know, one day it would become my turn too.
What I didn’t realize then was that carrying the fan symbolized much more than being hot. It represented entering a stage of life where I would have to advocate fiercely for my own health and body. Suddenly, concerns that felt real and alarming to me were often reduced to phrases like, “It’s just hormones ,” “That’s normal for your age,” or “It’s probably autoimmune-related.” Those explanations may have contained pieces of truth, but they often felt dismissive, as though my lived experience inside my own body no longer mattered.
The frustrating part is this: By the time I reached that phase of life, I had known my body for over forty years. I knew when something felt “off.” I knew when symptoms were new, unfamiliar, or different. Yet too often, women are conditioned to second-guess themselves while everyone around them casually explains away their concerns.
Since then, I’ve had countless conversations with women of all ages. I’ve read articles, watched social media videos, spoken with physicians, and listened closely to friends who were quietly struggling with many of the same symptoms. Through all of those conversations, one question kept replaying in my mind:
“How come no one told me?”
No one told me that menopause could affect far more than hot flashes. No one told me that fatigue, brain fog , aching feet, anxiety , sleep disruption, weight changes, joint pain, and emotional exhaustion could all be connected. No one explained that our bodies require different support as hormones shift.
For example, when my feet constantly hurt, I never imagined protein intake could be part of the problem. It wasn’t until I broke my ankle and began physical therapy at Carle Health in Champaign, Illinois, that someone finally emphasized how important protein is for menopausal women. Such a simple suggestion, yet it changed everything for me.
I increased my protein intake, and surprisingly, my foot pain improved dramatically. My ankle healed well. My fatigue lessened. Even some of the brain fog began to lift. That one recommendation sent me into a spiral of research, trying to understand why so many menopausal women experience these symptoms without ever being fully informed about what is happening inside their bodies.
What made it even more eye-opening was discovering that many of my friends were experiencing the exact same issues. We were all walking around confused by symptoms we considered “new” or “random,” trying to function normally while silently wondering if we were falling apart. When I shared what I had learned, many of them responded with the same question I had asked myself:
“How come no one told me?”
That question carries so much weight. Because the information exists. The experiences are real. Women are talking to each other every single day about exhaustion, hormonal changes, painful cycles, infertility struggles, anxiety, ADHD , autoimmune disorders, PCOS, perimenopause , menopause, and mental overload. Yet many of us still feel unprepared and unsupported when these changes actually happen to us.
And it’s not only peri- or menopausal women who feel unseen. Younger women are also navigating complicated medical conditions like Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), endometriosis, autoimmune disorders, and chronic fatigue, often without fully understanding what is happening in their bodies or how to manage these conditions effectively. Many have shared with me that their concerns were dismissed, minimized, or quickly medicated without enough conversation, education , or deeper investigation.
Too often, women become experts on survival instead of wellness.
And perhaps that is one of the most exhausting parts of just being a woman, the expectation that we continue nurturing everyone else while trying to decipher what is happening within ourselves.
But I’m learning something important through all of this: Women need each other. We need honest conversations. We need safe spaces to share experiences without embarrassment or shame . We need healthcare providers who listen carefully instead of assuming. We need research that prioritizes women’s bodies. And most importantly, we need to stop treating conversations about women’s health like taboo subjects.
Because there is power in advocating for more bodily support when it changes.
What many people also fail to recognize is the mental health impact of all of these experiences. When women constantly feel dismissed, unheard, exhausted, overstimulated, or disconnected from their own bodies, it can begin to make them feel like they are “going crazy.” Not because they actually are, but because they are trying to make sense of physical, emotional, and hormonal changes while still managing careers, relationships, caregiving responsibilities, households, and everyday expectations.
Brain fog can make intelligent women question themselves. Fatigue can feel like depression . Hormonal fluctuations can intensify anxiety, irritability, sadness, or emotional sensitivity. Sleep deprivation alone can impact mood, concentration , patience, and coping skills. Then add the pressure many women place upon themselves to continue performing at high levels, no matter how terrible they feel, and it becomes a perfect storm for emotional burnout .
The problem is that many women suffer silently because they fear being labeled “dramatic,” “emotional,” or unstable. So instead of slowing down, seeking support, or asking questions, they keep pushing themselves beyond exhaustion. Over time, that emotional suppression can create feelings of hopelessness, resentment, isolation, or chronic stress .
One of the healthiest things women can do during these stages of life is to stop minimizing their own experiences. Talk to someone. Ask questions. Find healthcare providers who listen instead of dismissing. Build communities with other women who are willing to have honest conversations without shame or judgment. Prioritize rest without guilt . Nourish your body instead of punishing it. Learn what your body needs in this season of life rather than comparing yourself to who you were twenty years ago.
Most importantly, women must give themselves permission to evolve.
There is nothing “crazy” about recognizing that your body, mind, and emotional needs are changing. There is nothing weak about needing support. In fact, acknowledging those changes may be one of the strongest and healthiest things a woman can do for herself.
So yes, these days I carry a fan too.
But now when I do, I think about my mother differently. I no longer see something humorous. I see resilience . I see a woman navigating changes the best way she knew how while still carrying the responsibilities of everyday life.
And now, I finally understand.
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Lisa Liggins-Chambers, PhD., is a school psychologist with 25 years of experience in universities, school districts, community mental health centers, and hospitals.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.