Holiday Support for Eating Disorders: A Family Guide
Give compassionate help to those with eating disorders navigating the holidays.
Posted December 9, 2025 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan
Imagine sitting down to a holiday meal with family and friends while battling an eating disorder . The experience can feel completely different from that of those who are not struggling. Many people look forward to holiday meals—the flavors, the enjoyment of good food, and the satisfaction of a hearty appetite . Most of all, they anticipate the warmth of gathering with loved ones. But for someone coping with an eating disorder, these moments can be fraught with anxiety rather than comfort.
For 16-year-old Marly, last winter’s family Christmas dinner was only a faint memory . Recently diagnosed with a restrictive eating disorder, she now faced the looming nightmare of a holiday meal. The thought of this year’s Christmas dinner filled her with dread. The pressure to sit with her family through a large, multi-course meal felt overwhelming—and terrifying.
All eating disorders involve an intense preoccupation with body weight and shape, a fear of gaining weight, and a distorted body image . These concerns gradually erode the ability to nourish the body properly. Eating is no longer guided by natural hunger and fullness cues or by the simple pleasure of food. Instead, it becomes governed by elaborate, rigid rules designed to control eating and pursue an idealized body image.
Marly was unhappy with her body’s shape and size, and she became increasingly preoccupied with eating and exercise routines aimed at controlling her weight and achieving the figure she longed for. Over time, these behaviors grew compulsive, fueled by intense fears of weight gain and constant, intrusive thoughts. Her family watched her become more irritable, perfectionistic , and persistently uneasy around food and meals—and they grew deeply concerned.
For Marly, the holiday emphasis on food felt unbearable. Every celebration’s fixation on eating stirred up catastrophic fears—of losing control and gaining weight on one hand and of drawing attention by restricting on the other. Nothing about the season felt normal; everything felt chaotic. Her only comforting thought was that it would eventually end. There was no way out, no excuse that wouldn’t fall flat. She couldn’t bear the idea of offending anyone by refusing their carefully prepared dishes, yet she longed just as intensely to avoid the whole scene altogether.
The eating disorder had become an incessant, nagging voice in her mind, warning her away from one food after another—especially when she felt the watchful concern of others on her. Paranoia and the urge to retreat into the disorder’s obsessive, isolating world stood in constant tension with her wish not to disappoint her family by skipping Christmas dinner. The disorder offered a kind of cocooning comfort in moments of distress, yet it was also a destructive force, severing her from her own body—a body that once knew how to eat with ease and had once found joy in sharing meals with others.
During treatment, Marly learned several tools to help her manage the holidays. She planned her meals in advance and committed—despite her fears—to following her recovery meal plan as closely as possible. Before each family gathering, she mapped out which foods and portions she would choose, and she prepared to fill in any nutritional gaps by supplementing before or after the meal. She also organized her holiday schedule around activities that didn’t revolve around food. Just as important, she relied on the support of those she had trusted with the truth about her eating disorder.
Michelle Morales is the parent-peer mentor at the Western New York Comprehensive Care Centers for Eating Disorders in Rochester, New York. She created a template letter aimed at helping family and friends support their loved one with an eating disorder as they navigate the holiday season:
“Dear family and friends,
We are happy to have your love and support. As you know ______ has been diagnosed with an eating disorder, a very complex illness. This diagnosis is often confusing and difficult to understand. We are learning something new each day about it. Most importantly we are learning how to support and take care of _________. We thought it would be helpful to share with you what our medical team has taught us and provide ways you can help _______ while we are visiting together.
An eating disorder is an illness that affects the body and the brain. It is not a choice. It is not caused by a person or a relationship but is actually a serious medical diagnosis, for ______ having an eating disorder means ______ (insert specific behaviors or symptoms you would like share). This creates additional stress around eating. It is especially hard when around family because we socialize around food which becomes a focal point that does not have the same relationship for ___________ at this time.
We are concentrating on the meaning behind our gatherings and try to focus less on food and _________’s illness. We would like to share with you ways you can support _________ while she is recovering.
Thank you for being supportive and loving. We look forward to being all together!”
Marly’s parents used this letter to prepare friends and visiting family for planned holiday gatherings. When combined with self-help tools, informed support from family and friends during holiday events can significantly aid recovery. Since eating disorders are often misunderstood, friends and loved ones frequently appreciate guidance on how to best support someone with an eating disorder during vulnerable times like holiday celebrations.
Morales, M. (2025). Letter template for family and friends supporting loved ones with eating disorders (Unpublished manuscript). Western New York Comprehensive Care Center for Eating Disorders, Rochester, New York.
Share this post Facebook Bluesky Linkedin Email
There was a problem adding your email address. Please try again.
By submitting your information you agree to the Psychology Today Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy
Cris E. Haltom, Ph.D., CEDS is a Certified Eating Disorders Specialist, clinical psychologist, workshop presenter, and author of two books and research articles on eating disorder treatment.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.