Helping Generation Z Out of the Comparison Trap
Do you see anxiety and jealousy in Gen Zers? This one act can reduce both.
Posted February 12, 2026 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
In the beginning, social media platforms were almost magical. Twenty years ago, Facebook helped us reconnect with old college or high school friends. It enabled us to update our tribe and family members on the latest graduations, birth announcements, or awards. Instagram came along, and millions liked that platform even better.
And then, we witnessed our vulnerability to compulsive behavior .
Over time, these platforms drifted from their original purpose. People moved from connecting on social media to performing. We perform in pursuit of more views, clicks, likes, shares, and reposts. But, like any performance, competing and comparing soon raised their ugly heads. For millions of people, the most vulnerable being Gen Zers, the comparison trap can lead to jealousy , resentment, envy, or feelings of inferiority.
What Happens When We’re Anxious and Jealous?
There is a German term that, quite frankly, I didn’t fully understand until recently. The word is: schadenfreude (pronounced: shod – in – froid – a). It describes the primitive pleasure we feel when misfortune occurs to someone we dislike. Research reveals schadenfreude activates dopamine in our brain, offering temporary relief from our pain, anxiety , or envy. We love it when a rival falls. I am ashamed to admit—this happened to me several years ago. I knew a leader who enjoyed incredible success and notoriety over the previous decade. He had quite a tribe on social media, he’d written great books, and he led a large organization. And then, the truth came out. He’d been found guilty of moral and financial failure.
Unfortunately, before I felt sorrow and empathy for him, I confess I felt vindicated. Maybe he wasn’t such a great leader after all, right? Maybe he was getting what he deserved all along. But he was in a mess. Within an hour of my discovering his misfortune, I texted him and we met. Face-to-face, I felt nothing but compassion, and wanted to help him.
But what was that sinister pleasure I had for an hour about someone’s crisis?
Social media has exacerbated the feelings of envy that humans endure. Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok are fertile ground for destructive emotions, which can reduce our well-being and lead to depression and even suicide . The schadenfreude is short-lived. Dr. Sylvia Karasu reveals that envy is even worse than jealousy. While jealousy is about wanting something, envy is about ill will. It can be reversed, but only when we do something constructive with our emotions.
Could Altruism Be a Remedy?
If you’re like me, you vividly remember hearing about the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson by a Gen Zer named Luigi Mangione. The crime occurred in broad daylight, an alleged act of vengeance against the perceived corrupt health care industry. What I recall most, however, were the thousands of emojis posted afterward by people, often young people, who relished Thompson’s death, a symbol of our broken system. Call it schadenfreude.
But there is another story, a continuing story of how some overcame these reactions.
Eventually, many of those who celebrated this crime decided to do more than celebrate. They realized that revenge is not a good path forward, and that Thompson had a family who now had no husband and father. Paulette was Brian’s wife, and they had two sons. As you can imagine, they were shocked by all of this. One by one, some of those who had posted celebratory comments at Thompson’s death visited Paulette’s home and left food and other gifts. No fanfare. No media coverage. No social media posting. Just acts of kindness.
The social disconnection these people felt was transformed into connection. They actually served the family of their perceived enemy. I am quite sure the satisfaction these selfless acts produced was sustained longer than the schadenfreude they felt earlier. Behavioral scientists report that schadenfreude is usually short-lived pleasure. Acts of altruism last longer and can be sustained as generosity and kindness continue. Peking University’s Yilu Wang and her colleagues reveal that “altruism leads to more sustained relief, promoting social connection and life satisfaction,” according to Dr. David Hanscom. “Instead of defaulting to schadenfreude, one can choose altruism, focusing on helping others to transform their personal suffering into purposeful connection. It’s ironic—when we are selfless, we help ourselves, since those who serve improve themselves. So, we have a choice when caught in a comparison trap:
My relationship with the fallen leader I mentioned above continues to this day. I love helping him whenever I can, and what I’ve done has not only eliminated any ill feelings but created a bond between us that fuels my own leadership . Altruism beats schadenfreude any day.
The Future Begins with Z: Nine Strategies to Lead Generation Z as They Disrupt the Workplace was just released. You can purchase it on Amazon or here .
Share this post Facebook Bluesky Linkedin Email
There was a problem adding your email address. Please try again.
By submitting your information you agree to the Psychology Today Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy
Tim Elmore is the founder and president of Growing Leaders, an international non-profit organization created to develop emerging leaders.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.