Finding Order in Disorder, a Bipolar Memoir
Detailing one woman's dance towards recovery, a book review.
Updated April 14, 2026 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Over the last few months, my partner has become quite enamored with the show Peacemaker . I don't like television much, but he said something that has had me watching the beginning theme. As the characters get up and dance with straight faces, my partner says, "You see, Jen. It's asking you to judge. When people dance, they put themselves out there, but this show is about something beautiful."
I'd be lying if I said I've gotten past the intro, but in those first few minutes, I watch. There’s something I really like about it.
Making Sense of Disorder
"Finding Order in Disorder: A Bipolar Memoir" is the story of a dancer, educator, and human. The author, Ishaa Chopra, is an MSc. Thesis Candidate in Critical Family and Kinship Studies with a Collaborative Specialization in Gender , Sexualities and Bodies under Dr. Adam W. J Davies at the University of Guelph, Canada. She founded Finding Order in Disorder Foundation—a non-profit and arts collective—named after her memoir. It explores projects such as hybrid podcasts, therapeutic dance, and community engagement for mental wellness.
She’s also a person who waded through fires of mania, depression , and domestic violence .
After the family surfed through the waves of her experiences, her mother crafted a film to help make sense of it, and Chopra wrote a book.
She writes, "When I was diagnosed, my mother took to the camera to film, record, analyze, and critique our lives. Our relationship took a turn for the better when I shared my writing with her, and she began to capture our journey on film. This was a breakthrough moment in the way we viewed each other, and we realized that both were in this together and neither needed to deal with it alone" (Chopra, 2025).
Through their shared creations, they made meaning of what they had faced together. I met Chopra and her mother at a conference last year where the film was shown, and her book was offered. I partook in both. The memoirs broke through mental health and into aspects of family, self, growth, and acceptance that we all can learn from.
Bipolar Disorder and Carrying God's Child
" On one side, there were nurses. On our side were all the patients. And there was a clear distinction between the nurses and patients, even apart from our respective locations. While the segregation there is temporary, it isn't so outside. It makes me wonder: Is this the madhouse, or is the world outside that is crazy?" (Chopra, 2025).
Chopra entered her first manic episode at age 16. She portrays a Ferris wheel of grand ideas, insomnia , and a belief that she would be carrying God’s child. Believing she was to be driven to Hogwarts, she was instead taken to the hospital.
She made a full recovery. Community dance classes and Latin dance provided an outlet that turned into a lifelong love.
When the Music Stopped
"During all my years with dance, I had never imagined that there would be a time when I would stop. I did, right after my marriage , which left me shattered." (Chopra, 2025).
In her early twenties, she married into a relationship that became immediately abusive. Chopra spiraled through manic highs, depressive lows, and mixed states—a bipolar episode, with aspects of both. She walked through the process of leaving the relationship and healing from its effects and the awakened bipolar symptoms.
Still, the scars were deep. At times, dancing with male dancers amplified symptoms, and she feared that dance itself would be a trigger.
“Dance is like meditation , where the dancer is free of all worldly thoughts and transcends into the universe. The world of a dancer doesn't have any notion of abnormality or normality in it." (Chopra, 2025).
Her story is not just one of mental health recovery; it is also about self-acceptance. And, just like the show introduction, dance was part of that. Chopra dove deep, engaging with treatment, leaning into family support, and reintroducing her creativity .
She writes, "Self-love and acceptance are for me of the utmost importance today. I realize when the world is against you, the only person really rooting for you is yourself; and when the world is with you, the only person you have with you is, again, yourself." (Chopra, 2025).
We all need self-acceptance. I am thankful to have read Ishaa's book and would recommend it to anyone wishing to grow their relationship with themself.
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Jennifer Gerlach, LCSW, is a psychotherapist based in Southern Illinois who specializes in psychosis, mood disorders, and young adult mental health.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.