Emotional vs. Rational Mind: Which One Is Running You?
Being aware of and controlling your state of mind are primary skills.
Posted June 29, 2025 | Reviewed by Devon Frye
Although we may have only one brain, over any given day, we go in and out of various states of mind or awareness—overwhelmed, angry, analytical, calm, jealous , etc. But the various states essentially break down to two: your emotional and rational mind.
The emotional mind is what I call the “little-kid” brain, because most often the emotions that rise up are generated by both old wounds from the past and feelings similar to those you experienced when you were a child, vulnerable, overwhelmed, angry, or guilty. Much of traditional therapy focuses on helping us move beyond those childhood states.
Psychodynamic therapy, for example, involves exploring and unraveling the past to create insight, while cognitive-behavioral therapy trains you to change your thoughts and behaviors to change your emotions. Regardless of the approach, the key is to shift our mindset from an emotional, childlike perspective to a rational, adult one.
Easier said than done, of course, but it’s all about being more aware of what your mind is doing. Here’s how to get started:
Practice monitoring your emotions.
Slipping into those emotional, childhood feelings can be subtle, but with practice, you can become more aware of when it is happening. One effective way of doing this is to check in with yourself every hour or so. Ask yourself: What is my mood? How am I feeling? If you’re feeling irritable, angry, or anxious, you’re out of your rational brain and into your emotional one.
With practice, you rewire your brain to catch these shifts more quickly.
Get to know your emotional triggers.
We all have emotional triggers, but not all triggers are created equally. For some, it's about performance pressure or dealing with authority; for others, it's about having too much to do and feeling overwhelmed; for yet others, it’s about feeling disrespected. Regardless, this sets off an automatic response in your brain, creating feelings of anger , anxiety , or feeling overwhelmed.
Knowing what you're vulnerable to helps you both step back from the actual challenge (“Here I go again”) and, by recognizing it, enables you to change course.
Once you’re triggered or realize that your emotional brain has hijacked you, it’s time to push back to get back into your adult, rational mind. How to do it? Here are several suggestions:
Be proactive; have a plan.
Now that you’ve gotten better at catching your reaction, it's time to change course and reverse those autopilot reactions.
If you have social anxiety , for instance, take the time before going on that date to plan what you can do—have a list of questions to ask someone you meet, or a funny or poignant story on deck to share. If it’s about having a supervisory meeting with your boss or your in-laws visiting for an afternoon, have a game plan in place: what to do and what not to do.
This can be a challenge to do on your own. It helps to have some support for accountability and encouragement. It may be a friend you regularly check in with or a therapist who can help you develop your skills.
Emotions are what give our lives color and purpose, while rationality keeps our emotions from derailing us. The goal is to create balance.
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Bob Taibbi, L.C.S.W., has 50 years of clinical experience. He is the author of 13 books and over 300 articles and provides training nationally and internationally.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.