Don't Drown in Empathy
Compassionate action involves cognitive empathy; not affective empathy.
Updated September 30, 2025 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina
Are you buying into these myths:
Burnout and compassion fatigue are common problems for caregivers, as well as job hazards for those in the helping professions. What if I told you that feeling what others were feeling is part of the problem?
Most of us would probably agree that the world needs more, not less empathy. And yet, drowning in empathy shuts us down and keeps us from taking meaningful action in the world.
How do we keep growing in are ability to offer empathy and yet stay resilient?
The answer to this question comes down to two distinct forms of empathy: cognitive and affective. Research suggests that while affective empathy can lead to overwhelm and shutdown, cognitive empathy—our ability to understand another’s perspective without necessarily sharing their emotional state—may be the key to healthier relationships, better decision-making , and greater resilience .
Cognitive vs. Affective Empathy: What’s the Difference?
Research has distinguished two separate neurological systems for empathy: an emotional system that supports our ability to feel the emotion of someone else, and a cognitive system that involves cognitive understanding of the other's perspective (Shamay-Tsoory, 2011).
The Pitfalls of Affective Empathy
While it is absolutely necessary for us to strive to understand each other, show concern, and stay curious, vicariously experiencing others' emotions can lead to:
The Benefits of Cognitive Empathy
Cognitive empathy allows us to understand others’ perspectives without absorbing their emotions. We then can respond with compassion and wisdom without losing ourselves in the process.
Key benefits include:
Strengthening Your Cognitive Empathy Skills
Cognitive empathy is a skill you can develop. Practice developing the four attributes nursing scholar Theresa Wiseman (1996), identified:
Keep yourself from drowning in Affective Empathy! Remind yourself that understanding someone’s experience doesn’t require you to feel their emotions as your own. If you find yourself regularly overwhelmed by the emotions of others, consider your boundary style , and learn some new skills . For instance, check out The Empath's Survival Guide by Dr. Orloff for great tips for how to manage internal boundaries and stay balanced.
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Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the heart: Mapping meaningful connection and the language of human experience . Random House.
Decety, J., & Lamm, C. (2006). Human empathy through the lens of social neuroscience. The Scientific World Journal , 6, 1146-1163.
Decety, J. (2020). Empathy in medicine: What it is, and how much we really need it. The American Journal of Medicine , 133(5), 561-566.
Figley, C. R. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapists' chronic lack of self care. Journal of Clinical Psychology , 58(11), 1433-1441.
Hojat, M., Louis, D. Z., Markham, F. W., Wender, R., Rabinowitz, C., & Gonnella, J. S. (2011). Physicians' empathy and clinical outcomes for diabetic patients. Academic Medicine , 86(3), 359-364.
Orloff, Judith, The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People. Sounds True, Inc, 2017.
Shamay-Tsoory, S. G. (2011). The neural bases for empathy. The Neuroscientist , 17(1), 18-24.
Wiseman, T. (1996). A concept analysis of empathy. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 23 (6), 1162–1167. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2648.1996.tb01740.x
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Jaimie Lusk, Psy.D., is a psychologist who guides veterans, operators, leaders, trailblazers, and creatives to navigate difficulties post-trauma and loss with clarity and purpose.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.