Dealing With Embarrassing Menopause Symptoms
Exploring the lesser-known menopause symptoms that no one talks about.
Posted October 16, 2025 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
Fortunately, the familiar questions women have about menopause symptoms—like hot flashes, mood changes, memory blocks, and sleep problems—are being researched and openly discussed, especially during October, which is Menopause Awareness Month. But what about the menopause symptoms that women are embarrassed to ask about—even with their physicians? Here are some of those questions and answers, so you know that these concerns are not uncommon and that you are not alone with your symptoms.
You don’t have to be a professional singer to notice an increase in hoarseness and lower register when you are speaking. The muscles we use when speaking tend to shrink, and cartilage may thicken and harden. A deepening voice and lower pitch may be less noticeable for men, or even a change they appreciate. For women, on the other hand, voice changes can be more obvious and more likely to make us feel uncomfortable.
More research is still needed to determine if the changes are inevitable. 1 In the meantime, try voice warmups in the morning, steaming and humidifiers to counteract some of the membrane dryness, avoid smoking , excessive alcohol , and pollutants to protect your larynx, and treat acid reflux to avoid additional irritation. 2
If you are crossing your legs when you laugh or cough, you are not the only one. Almost 50% of women report that they have bladder leaks during their menopause transition. Age alone doesn’t account for these bladder problems; they are another frequently embarrassing symptom associated with menopause. But the good news is that this one is somewhat manageable: 3
3. Clitoral facts and fictions
Although women often discuss vaginal dryness with their physicians, and even their friends, clitoral changes are not usually discussed, although they are common, too. A few of my patients have read that women who have sex more tend to have milder cases of vaginal dryness and associated clitoral atrophy because arousal increases blood flow and lubrication to the genitals. But this is more wishful thinking than fact. The Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation analyzed data from 2,435 women’s annual medical visits over 17 years and concluded that vaginal dryness symptoms do not appear to be related to sexual frequency. 4
Menopause-related clitoral irritation and decreased sensitivity can be helped, however, by using water-soluble lubricants and, when medically appropriate, topical estrogen cream. Unfortunately, since many women are not asking doctors about clitoral atrophy, and health providers are generally not asking us about it either, this symptom can be misdiagnosed and medicine prescribed can make irritation worse. Take the first step yourself and ask about clitoral symptoms.
If you don’t recognize your body odor during perimenopause and beyond, it’s not your imagination . When estrogen drops, the chemistry of perspiration changes and makes it easier for odor-producing bacteria to grow—especially in warm areas like under the arms, and in the groin. Add hot flashes and night sweats, and body odor changes are understandable. Even vaginal odors can change because as estrogen decreases, the effect of our small amounts of testosterone increases and attracts more odor-producing bacteria.
Once again, caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco can make the problem worse by increasing sweating. Garlic, onions and other spicy foods can add unwanted odors, so increase your water intake to dilute them. Avoid synthetic fabrics like faux leather, which may look good on a mannequin, but a mannequin doesn’t need air flow and sweat absorption that we do. Instead, try sweat-absorbing clothes, and cotton underwear.
5. Burning mouth syndrome
You may not have heard about burning mouth syndrome (BMS), but 18 to 30% of peri- and postmenopausal women experience it and may not even know the condition has a name. The cause is the thinning of the mouth’s mucus membranes, leaving the nerves, gums, and tongue less protected and more irritable but it’s often misdiagnosed as acid reflux, vitamin deficiency, or an allergy to mouthwash, or even a brand of coffee. Even when BMS is correctly diagnosed, hormone replacement has inconsistent results and not always the first choice. 5
Unfortunately, there are no definitive answers yet, but anti- anxiety medications and/or cognitive behavioral therapy can help reduce symptom awareness, anticipatory anxiety and even increase optimism about eventually beating it. Only you and your physician can decide on a management strategy, so please reach out for help. 6
Now, here’s my own embarrassing menopause symptom: My ears itch. Not just the lobe but even the inside my ears. I didn’t know itchy ears had anything to do with menopause until I did research for this post. A drop in estrogen affects estrogen receptors in the inner ear and blood flow to the skin of the outer ear lobe . 7 So, here’s my new routine: a drop of prescribed medication in my canal and a fragrance-free hydrating cream on my outer ear. So far, so good.
These unexpected—and embarrassing—symptoms can also result from chemotherapy, medication that blocks estrogen, ovary removal, some birth-control pills, radiation therapy, or an immune disorder, so some recommendations, particularly hormone replacement therapy , may not be the right choice.
Don’t let self-consciousness stop you from asking your health team. As my friend and colleague Janet Choi, a double board-certified REI and OB/GYN, once said, “As more women have open conversations about specific health struggles that are impacting their lives, they become impossible to ignore.” For all of us, change is inevitable. Let’s share the experience.
(1) Shankar R, Raj A, Rathore PK, Meher R, Kaushik S, Batra V. Menopause and its effect on voice. Indian J Otolaryngol Head Neck Surg. 2021. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36742899/
(2) Bensoussan YE, Evangelista EG, Doctor RJ, Mathyk BA, Bevec KL, Toghranegar JA, Patel R. Menopause and the voice: a narrative review of physiological changes, hormone therapy effects, and treatment options. Menopause. 2025. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40924880/
(3) Jones HJ, Huang AJ, Subak LL, Brown JS, Lee KA. Bladder symptoms in the early menopausal transition. J Womens Health (Larchmt). 2016. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4876519/
(4) Waetjen LE, Crawford SL, Chang PY, Reed BD, Hess R, Avis NE, et al. Menopausal symptoms: prevalence and risk factors (SWAN study). Menopause. 2018. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6136974/
(5) Bookout GP, Ladd M, Short RE. Burning mouth syndrome. StatPearls [Internet]. 2023. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519529/
(6) Imamura Y, Shinozaki T, Okada-Ogawa A, Noma N, Shinoda M, Iwata K, et al. An updated review on pathophysiology and management of burning mouth syndrome. J Oral Rehabil. 2019. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30892737/
(7) Nair PA. Dermatosis associated with menopause. J Midlife Health. 2014. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25540568/
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Georgia Witkin, Ph.D. , is Head of Patient Services Development for Progyny, an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Ob/Gyn and Reproductive Sciences at Mt. Sinai School of Medicine, and Director of Patient Services Management and Development at U.S. Fertility.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.