Connection Matters in Coping With Campus Violence
Simple strategies to help loved ones navigate the non-linear path of recovery.
Updated January 7, 2026 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina
As a psychologist with decades of experience in school crisis preparation and response, I thought I understood trauma symptoms and the recovery process. Then the mass shooting occurred at Brown University on December 13, 2025, and my child was a student on campus. Cognitively, I know that most people impacted will respond with resilience over time and may even experience growth. But over the past few weeks, my own feelings and behaviors didn’t always match what I know and teach others.
The non-linear process of healing is exhausting, especially for families and friends who are trying hard to figure out how to help. A myriad of tips have been shared, some of which have been very useful. But others have fallen flat for me, landing in categories I’d call non-specific (drink water), impossible (get enough sleep), or just not right (get to a therapist right away for specialized treatments). As I reflect on what’s happening in my own family, I find myself repeatedly asking: what is the ‘just right’ balance to help navigate through different moments?
Moving from Response to Recovery
As weeks pass, I understand that initial crisis reactions like disorientation and disbelief naturally fade. I remind myself that research shows crisis experiences can facilitate personal growth, meaning-making, and sense of purpose. Crisis intervention models illustrate that helpful actions include exploring feelings, generating new coping strategies, and building an action plan. As supports evolve from immediate crisis reaction to community recovery, careful matching between individual needs and timing continue to be essential.
It’s this support matching space that consumes my own thinking. The ‘right’ supports are deeply subjective, varying based on factors like proximity to the event and prior vulnerabilities. And recovery can be frustratingly non-linear. At any moment, a loved one might find their existing strategies for coping aren’t working and react with feelings of overwhelm .
This is where families and friends often feel stuck, wanting desperately to help but unsure what will actually make a difference.
When Usual Coping Strategies Aren't Working
If you're supporting someone affected by crisis, remember that the simple act of connection matters most. Relational experiences are key in recovery, and interactions don’t have to be complicated.
As the Brown campus re-opens—as will other spaces that experience tragedies—it won't be the same. Recovery is not linear, and that’s why there is no perfect timing or script for support. But together, through genuine connection and small, simple acts, we can foster the conditions that support resilience and enable growth over time.
To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Directory .
Chafouleas, S. M., Wicks, E. & Koslouski, J. B. (2026, January). Feel Your Best Self: Coping with Emotions at Any Age. Available at https://www.feelyourbestself.org/s/FYBS-Coping-with-Emotions-at-Any-Age.pdf .
Chafouleas, S. M., Koslouski, J.B., Marcy, H.M., Stein, R., & Bracey, J. (2025, November). A Simple Refresh: Simple Strategies Anyone Can Use to Foster an Emotionally Safe School Environment . Storrs, Connecticut: University of Connecticut. Available at https://csch.media.uconn.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/2206/2025/11/CSCH-Brief-Simple-Strategies-Refresh-Final-Fall-2025.pdf .
UConn Collaboratory on School and Child Health (n.d.). Emotional Well-being: The Science and Practice of Feeling Well Learning Series. https://csch.uconn.edu/2025/09/02/emotional-well-being-learning-series/ .
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Sandra M. Chafouleas, Ph.D., is a Distinguished Professor in the Neag School of Education at the University of Connecticut.
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.