Borrowing Confidence: Steps to Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
A simple path to interrupt self-doubt and recognize your strengths.
Posted November 17, 2025 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
Imposter syndrome is the uneasy feeling that you don’t deserve the accolade, that people will think you are a fraud, or that the committee made a mistake. Sadly, this syndrome, or phenomenon, as it is now referred to, is extremely common, even among high performers ranging from Supreme Court justices to Academy Award-winning actors. But there is an overlooked antidote.
We often tell ourselves the achievement occurred due to luck or timing, but the truth of the matter is, it was consistent hard work. The self-doubt snowballs when there is no one to validate your progress or hold up a mirror and reflect your strength back to you and remind you of the path you crossed and hurdles you overcame.
That person who holds you up when you feel like hiding is commonly known as a mentor —even if you didn’t assign them that title. The mentor is able to offer an external, objective lens that helps reframe your distorted thinking and break the cycle of misguided falsehoods.
Interrupting the Cycle of Self-Doubt
Imposter syndrome often occurs after a major win. These accolades don’t happen on a regular cadence for most people, so our mind is confused about how to process it all. As I previously explained in this Psychology Today piece, imposter syndrome can be reframed as a sign of success, and should not be a trigger of incompetence or stress .
Perspective : Sometimes what is needed is perspective. A mentor can offer that different 30,000-foot viewpoint, based on their years of experience. Sometimes you are so deep inside the jar, you can’t read the label.
Normalizing the experience : When a mentor is able to show their authentic selves by showing some vulnerability, they normalize the failures and the successes, thereby helping to reduce the feelings of self-doubt. After all, if it happened to the mentor who is experienced, then it is more reassuring that I went through something similar.
Skill and identity validation : Benefiting from experience and a journey well traveled, mentors can name the mentee’s strengths before the mentee can see them. By identifying the hard-earned wins, the mentor shortens the timeline to the mentee recognizing their own achievements.
Growth lens : Mentors can redirect focus from perfection to progress. Sometimes good is good enough. Chasing perfection often means the project will never get done or attempted at all, and a mentor can help you get over that hurdle.
In a perfect world, confidence is developed over time. You try, you fail, you try again. Each time, it gets easier, the process becomes smoother, and the accolades start to roll in. Until you are ready to develop your own confidence, you can borrow your mentor’s belief in you, as they are seeing something in you that you don’t yet see in yourself. In my research on high performance, this becomes a common practice used with elite athletes as they work their way up to the top of the podium. Borrowed confidence becomes the bridge between fear and success.
Steps to Reduce Imposter Feelings
Share your feelings : To mitigate the feelings associated with imposter syndrome, share your fears or uncertainties with your mentor. They can gauge the associated reality of what you are feeling and set you on the right path by either validating or disagreeing with your internal beliefs. Sometimes you need a trusted person to tell you that what you achieved was well earned… and here’s the proof.
Keep a success file : Success leaves clues. Having a “success file” of positive feedback and accomplishments is written proof that your win is well earned, and no one made a mistake in choosing you. Imposter syndrome doesn’t disappear on its own; it dissolves through connection and perspective. A mentor doesn’t just guide your career , they can restore your confidence. Find someone who can hold up a mirror and help you see things you don’t see in yourself.
Share this post Facebook Bluesky Linkedin Email
There was a problem adding your email address. Please try again.
By submitting your information you agree to the Psychology Today Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy
Ruth Gotian, Ed.D. , is an associate professor of education at Weill Cornell Medicine and author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.