Being a "Dog Parent" Can Boost Happiness After Gray Divorce

Loneliness often surges after divorce. The human-animal bond can be an antidote.

Posted May 31, 2026 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

Gray divorce refers to couples 50 and older ending their marriages. Researchers Brown et al. found that the divorce rate for this age group doubled between 1990 and 2010. Today, nearly 40% of all divorces occur in this population.

Every day in my clinical practice, my therapy dog Friede and I witness patients struggling with the myriad losses that so often accompany later-life divorce. Sadness, loneliness, and lack of connection with others contribute to physical and mental health issues like appetite and sleep disturbance, social isolation , depression , and anxiety . As their therapist, I am always looking for skills, tools, and interventions to offer them to help ease their pain and develop the life they seek.

Kathleen, 60, divorced nine years ago and has struggled with lingering sadness, loneliness, and mild depression. She began therapy several months ago. She and my therapy dog, Friede, snuggled on the love seat in my office. She softly stroked Friede's head, looked at me, smiled, and began.

"The research-based findings about happiness you gave me a few sessions ago challenged me to action, and I've moved out of the dark place I was in. I know I'm still grieving all the losses from my divorce, and I'm willing to keep doing that grief work. Things are going well with my two dear friends, my significant other, and our community work. I'm still lacking a companionship that I can't quite describe. What do you think it's about?" She paused and put her hand on Friede's head on her lap.

"I've been thinking about what you told me about how much you enjoyed having dogs when you were growing up and in your marriage ." Her hand moved slowly, lightly stroking Friede's head and body. She looked up at me through tear-filled eyes. "What is it?'" I asked.

"I really miss my dog, Henry, who died three years ago. He was my constant companion. It felt like we loved each other. What should I do?"

"To be loved by a dog is a great privilege, perhaps one of the finest in a human life. May we prove ourselves worthy of it." ~ Researcher Dr. Clive Wynne, author of Dog Is Love: Why and How Your Dog Loves You

"I'm going to share share something with you that will help you decide what is right for you to do. Since the early 1990s, research on the dog-human bond has increased exponentially. Here is a handout about what this research found. Is it OK with you if I read it out loud and you follow along?

"Yes. Let's do!" She replied.

I gave her the handout and read the following out loud, while she followed along.

What Research Found About the Dog-Human Bond

Researcher Enikő Kubinyi wrote that dogs are increasingly stepping into the emotional and relational gap that declining birth rates and a weakening of traditional support systems have left, and now dogs are not merely pets , but surrogate children or primary companions.

Kubinyi's research showed that owners reported greater satisfaction with their dogs than with any human partner except their child, and they received more support from dogs than from any human partner, except their child, and experienced fewer negative interactions with their dogs than with any human partner, except their best friend.

What Other Research Found

When dogs and humans interact, oxytocin levels rise in both. The hormone oxytocin is associated with feelings of love and affection.

Dogs can reduce emotional distress, increase life satisfaction, improve physical and mental health, and help treat post- traumatic stress disorder.

Dogs provide pleasure, enjoyment, distraction, and comfort.

Dogs lessen pain and suffering by helping to ease the pain of loneliness and loss.

Dogs reduce humans' engagement in risk-taking behaviors, such as self-harm .

Dogs promote well-being by providing meaning and purpose, fostering positive relationships with others, and encouraging activities that can lead to personal growth and feelings of mastery.

Dogs' characteristics, such as their non-judgmental and loving nature, contribute to feelings of positive self-worth .

"How does this research land on you?" I asked.

She was looking down at Friede, whose head was still on her lap, and said, "What the research found is fascinating! I already knew some of it. You are right. It has helped me know what I want to do. I'm going to start looking for my new doggie companion and become a dog parent!"

"Love was the true essence of that relationship, as it is of nearly every interchange between dog and human. A lot of dog lovers have known all along that researchers were barking up the wrong tree when they insisted that dogs' specialness lies in their smarts, not their hearts. Science, at last, is catching up." ~ Researcher Dr. Clive Wynne, author of Dog Is Love: Why and How Your Dog Loves You

Patient names and details changed to preserve confidentiality

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory .

Brown, S. L., & Lin, I.-F. (2012). The gray divorce revolution: Rising divorce among middle-aged and older adults, 1990–2010. The Journals of Gerontology: Series B , 67 (6), 731–741. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbs089

Brown SL, Lin IF. (2022). The Graying of Divorce: A Half Century of Change. J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 77(9):1710–1720. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbac057 . PMID: 35385579; PMCID: PMC9434459.

Gmeiner MW, Gschwandtner A. (2025). The value of pets: The quantifiable impact of pets on life satisfaction. Social Indicators Research 178(1):185–223. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11205-025-03574-1

Gnanadesikan GE, King KM, Carranza E, et al. (2024). Effects of human-animal interaction on salivary and urinary oxytocin in children and dogs. Psychoneuroendocrinology 169:107147. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2024.107147

Leighton SC, Rodriguez KE, Jensen CL, et al. (2024). Service dogs for veterans and military members with posttraumatic stress disorder: A nonrandomized controlled trial. JAMA Network Open 7(6):e2414686. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2024.14686

Matijczak A, Yates MS, Ruiz MC, et al. (2024). The influence of interactions with pet dogs on psychological distress. Emotion 24(2):384–396. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001256

Turcsán B, Ujfalussy DJ, Kerepesi A, Miklósi Á, Kubinyi E. (2025). Similarities and differences between dog–human and human–human relationships. Scientific Reports 15:11871. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-025-95515-8

Wright MR, Hammersmith AM, Brown SL, Lin IF. (2020). The roles of marital dissolution and subsequent repartnering on loneliness in later life. The Journals of Gerontology: Series B 75(8):1796–1807. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbaa016

Wynne C. (2019). Dog Is Love: Why and How Your Dog Loves You. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.