Are You More Attractive When You Put Down Your Phone?
How ditching your device makes you desirable.
Posted May 15, 2026 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Everyone has experienced the sensation of unique attraction . From romantic to platonic, we have all felt specifically drawn to certain people and repelled by others. We find others attractive through physical beauty, perceived similarity, and approachability. There is also, however, one common denominator in a wide variety of settings and circumstances, from personal to professional: the person we find attractive is not glued to their device.
Does this mean we can’t check our text messages in public? Not quite; it depends on time, place, and manner, which affect perceived priorities. Imagine walking up to a friend or colleague who is furiously typing or scrolling on her device. But when she sees you, she immediately puts it away and greets you with a big smile and a wave. What has she communicated quickly and easily without words? That you are much more important. Consider how this power of personal preference operates in our daily lives.
Personal Attraction and Impression Formation
SoJin Lee and colleagues (2026) investigated whether mobile phone use makes people less attractive, noting the prominence of phubbing in today’s digital communication, including its negative impact on a variety of relationships. They defined phubbing as “the act of ignoring present interaction partners in favor of mobile phone activities,” and its negative aspects as including affecting the quality of conversations, violating romantic relational norms, diminishing relationship satisfaction, and even harming the quality of parent-child relationships through adversely affecting children’s self-esteem . Further, they noted that phubbing can create feelings of social exclusion, which can produce negative emotions and conflict.
Acknowledging its harmful influence on relational well-being, they explored the role of phubbing within impression formation. They found that phubbing significantly reduced perceptions of warmth and competence, which in turn negatively affected perceptions of likeability, social attractiveness , and interaction intentions.
People who score high in warmth are perceived as friendly and sincere, and people evaluated as having a high level of competence are viewed as intelligent and capable. The person who phubs demonstrates disengagement; they are not available for meaningful interaction. It may also cause someone to appear less competent, especially in certain contexts. It is viewed as inappropriate and impolite.
Lee and colleagues found that, as we might expect, phubbing in social settings had a more negative effect on impression formation than in a professional setting. A person may have work-related reasons for using their device; however, it decreases feelings of being ignored. Even within a professional context, however, Lee and colleagues caution against inappropriate use of mobile phones where perceptions of competence and warmth may significantly influence career outcomes.
In addition to considering social settings, a person can learn to use their phone settings. Features such as do not disturb or automatic text responses help us stay in touch digitally while being present. There is no substitute for in-person interaction; being fully present makes us more attentive and attractive.
Lee, SoJin et al. “ Does Using Mobile Phones Make You Less Attractive? Phubbing and Perceptions of Warmth, Competence, and Social Attractiveness .” Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking. 2026.
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Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Why Bad Looks Good , Red Flags , and co-author of the revised New York Times bestseller Reading People .
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.