Are New Parents Still Strongly Attracted to Each Other?
Positive perceptions of physical attractiveness with baby on board.
Posted May 10, 2026 | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
Couples transitioning from partners to parents face unique, life-altering changes. The joy of parenting is unparallelled and unpredictable, but also challenging. Caring for a new baby requires daily alterations of everything from personal routines to work responsibilities to sleep schedules. It also changes the way the new parents interact with each other. Research explains.
Rachel S. Blickman et al. (2025) tackled the common question of how pregnancy and new parenthood impacts couples’ attraction to each other. [i] They begin by acknowledging the reality faced by many new parents: In addition to lifestyle alterations, physical changes and disruptions to patterns of sexual intimacy can create sexual insecurity. Specifically, new parents may begin to underestimate their partner’s attraction to them.
In their research, Blickman et al. studied daily diaries kept by the 59 couples in their study over the course of pregnancy, through childbirth, to 15 weeks beyond. Both new mothers and fathers reported an increased amount of insecurity about their appearance as well as a decrease in sexual frequency and satisfaction, which caused them to underestimate their partner’s physical attraction to them. But their findings were not all bad news: Blickman et al. also found that insecurity about appearance does not necessarily equate to the reality of attraction.
When Appearances Are Not Reality
Blickman et al. explained that partner misperceptions of sexual desirability are unique to the specific life transition involved in new parenthood, which can bring joy and excitement as well as stress and anxiety . This period involves significant physical changes for the mother as well as changes in routine for both parents as they renegotiate a new division of household labor. Sleep deprivation, juggling work and home responsibilities, and attempting to maintain marital quality can be challenging for both parents during this time, sometimes resulting in decreased relational confidence and happiness .
Regarding personal insecurity, Blickman et al. note that the transition to parenthood may prompt concerns about a partner’s perceived physical attractiveness to their partner as well as themselves. Mothers experience significant and rapid bodily changes during pregnancy, coupled with a societal expectation that they should bounce back to their former weight and appearance shortly after birth. This unrealistic expectation can add to a mother’s insecurity at a time when she is already under stress and dedicating time to caring for an infant, which can lead to body dissatisfaction, fueling a concern over whether her spouse still finds her physically attractive. Fathers may feel insecure as well, as a disruption in sexual intimacy may cause them to question their own appearance and attractiveness to their partners. Accordingly, Blickman et al. note that new parenthood may cause both mothers and fathers to be sensitive about their perceived physical attractiveness to each other.
Blickman et al. note that research on appearance insecurities in other contexts show that personal feelings of physical attractiveness can create perceptions of how attractive individuals believe they are to their partners. Such insecurities may cause people to be extra sensitive to potential indications of rejection, vigilant for signs that their partner may not find them physically attractive. Underestimating a partner’s level of attraction may also cause partners to notice daily changes that may corroborate this perception, which can decrease relationship quality over time.
Along similar lines, Blickman et al. discovered in their study that although new parents were not more likely to underestimate their partners' attraction to them over time, they were able to accurately track daily changes in a partner’s physical attraction to them within each phase of the study, which indicates that both parents were noticing each other’s evaluations.
To Love and Cherish, at Every Stage of Life
As a practical matter, although most parents admit there are few “date nights” with a new infant in the home, intentionally taking steps to maintain the marital relationship is an investment in the marriage as well as the family. Schedules permitting, scheduling quality time with a spouse boosts feelings of being loved and cherished, as well as being desirable. Happy partners make happy parents, and investment in the family unit ensures a more positive future for everyone.
[i] Blickman, Rachel S., Marci E. J. Gleason, and Lisa A. Neff. “Do You Still Find Me Physically Attractive? Partners’ Daily Perceptions of Attractiveness during the Transition to Parenthood.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 42, no. 1 (2025): 3–26.
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Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Why Bad Looks Good , Red Flags , and co-author of the revised New York Times bestseller Reading People .
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This article is part of the Bringwise Psychology Journal — daily insights on human behavior, mental health, and personal growth.